Another Day, Another Assault In Chinese Football

By: chris | April 16th, 2009

You know, ever since China pulled its domestic competition from terrestrial television for too cozily resembling martial arts and bringing in a strict disciplinarian to clean up the league, the only thing Chinese football makes the news for is….resembling martial arts. Though I suppose that’s typically the case with second (or third…or fourth) tier quality football – nobody comes around for the actual play.

And this time, the news comes with a little twist: a coach repeatedly assaulted a player – his own player – who made a defensive blunder allowing in a goal in the first half of a league game. There’s a new motivational tactic.

Unfortunately there is no footage of the ass kicking contest which took place at halftime, but we do have a highlight reel of the game (betcha didn’t expect English commentary, eh?) with the incident which so infuriated Guangyao’s coach, Shen Xiangfu. It’s the very first goal of the game where Wang Xiaosi, instead of clearing it from the box after a long throw, heads a lofty ball backward to perfectly set up Hangzhou for their first of three goals. Worthy of a dressing down? Sure. A beating? Depends on your standards, I guess. I suppose Jens Lehmann and Artur Boruc are quite pleased they don’t play in China.

As Shen describes it, this is what transpired:

“When I saw him, I became furious. I approached him and kicked him twice very strongly and said quite strong stuff.”

A man learned from the old school, surely. When men were men and defensive blunders were met with clinical beatdowns.

Wang immediately returned home for what is said to be a checkup for a previous bout of kidney stones (we’ll be passing out a blank joke form after the session is over) and it appears to be water under the bridge. Unless it’s not and it’s all a PR coverup, in which case Shen might want to lawyer up. Actually, he may want to lawyer up in anticipation of the high commander of discipline bringing the hammer down.

And with this we come to the same conclusion every single time Chinese football makes the news: it needs more exposure, not less. Who cares if it’s an impromptu martial arts convention? Accentuate your strong points.

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s about time China and South America came together to form a SuperLeague of sorts, with some pretty decent football and world class insanity. Television rights wouldn’t be an issue then: $49.95 pay-per-view.

[Spotted on Sports Rubbish]