The Most Lopsided Game in History

By: Bob | January 3rd, 2007

We’re big fans of underdogs in these parts and in the world of international football there is no bigger underdog than American Samoa. The island nation has been the lowest ranked team in the world since the time when man decided it would be more fun to walk upright than to swing in trees. American Samoa has never won a FIFA sanctioned match and has only one win its history, a triumph over a Wallis and Futuna side that is either too scared to join FIFA or can’t rustle up more than a couple of players named Wallis and Futuna.

American Samoa is probably best known for being on the losing end of the worst loss in international football history, falling to Australia 31-0 on April 11, 2001. I’ve always read about the game, but today was the first time I actually saw the highlights (if you can call them that) on 4thegame.

Here’s an excerpt of a description of the match followed by the dizzying display of goals. It is almost fun to watch the efforts the Australia players make to not to celebrate after scoring.

Another day, another world record. Australia’s goalfeast in the World Cup qualifiers reached glutinous proportions with an incredible 31-0 slaughter of the schoolkids of American Samoa in Coffs Harbour last night.

The Polynesian minnows, officially ranked as the worst team in the world (No203), had read the headlines, heard the jokes, and listened to the debate about men against boys. With an average age of just 18, no prizes for guessing who was wearing the short pants in what was billed as the most lopsided match in the 140-year history of the international game. Yet despite the predictions of impending doom, American Samoa insisted they were looking forward to their date with destiny. In the grandstand before the kick-off, they entertained the crowd with an impromptu sing-a-long to calm their nerves. Somebody suggested later it was the only time they were in tune all night.

The Socceroos showed sympathy, but no mercy for their hopelessly undermanned opponents. By the time Tahitian referee Ronan Leaustic blew the final whistle, striker Archie Thompson had netted 13 times, a record for the number of goals scored by an individual in an international game, a mark which had stood since the 1912 Olympics [Sofus Nielsen scored 10 for Denmark against France in the 1908 Olympics, and Gottfried Fuchs also scored 10 for Germany against Russia in the 1912 Olympics - TE].

Thompson’s record-breaking 11th goal also enabled the Socceroos to smash their own world record, set just two days earlier against Tonga. Two world records with one strike of the ball, something to tell the grandkids that’s for sure.