When Times are Tough, Pull out that Winning Communist Playbook

Look out countries competing in this year’s Asian Cup. China has God money talent Communism on its side. The world’s 84th ranked team has turned to the teachings of Marx and Lenin to achieve football glory. Instead of a five-year plan, the players were treated to a two and a half hour lecture on Communist philosophy and patriotism on Wednesday, an experience that should do wonders for the backline of the 4-4-2.

The philosophy session was organized by the suck-ups at the Chinese sports ministry.

On Wednesday, however, China’s top players were treated to a talk on “using philosophical methods to widen perspective and enhance creativity during matches”.

Li Jianhua, a senior professor at China’s Central Communist Party School, was invited by the ministry to Kunming, where the country’s top players are training at altitude for the men’s Asian Cup and women’s World Cup this year.

“It’s a very good lesson. I suggested everybody attended,” men’s team general manager Wei Shaohui told the newspaper. One unnamed team member was not overly impressed.

“He’s not bad,” the player told the Beijing News. “But we didn’t understand much of what he said.”

The unnamed player was referring to the words of the professor and not those of former team manager Bora Milutinovic whose philosophy has nearly started many a revolution too.

In addition to the brush-up on Engels, et al, the Chinese team took in the martial arts film “Curse of the Golden Flower” to teach them “a sense of hegemony”.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

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Category: Asia