AIK Stockholm: Moral Leaders of the Community

By: chris | November 19th, 2007

Some stories are so great they need to be told more than once. Some stories are so utterly ridiculous you give it the old “what the @#$%?” and move on. Sometimes, when the stars have aligned and the fates interjected, these stories are one in the same. This is one of those stories.

As reported by Jan not so long ago, a Swedish entrepreneur has made an investment in AIK Stockholm and purchased 10% of the team. That’s pretty tame and blasé, right? Well, said entrepreneur’s cash cow is Private Media Group. And the CEO, Berth Milton, is better known in the porn industry as Daddy Whorebucks. (Alright, I made that name up, but it works, right?)

(Reported by our Bundesliga representative because Sweden is in ~~a part of~~ ~~next to~~ ~~near~~ on the same continent as Germany. I kid I kid. One never needs an excuse to wax lyrical on anything under the canopy that is Scandinavian porn here. Offside Rule #37.)

So, why does Mr. Milton want to stake his claim in the footballing world? There could be a few reasons. Maybe to make an adult film starring Freddie Ljunberg, because we haven’t seen enough of his package already. Or maybe to corner the market on “accurate representations” of numerous athletes who might just be a touch “above average” (which does not include Cristiano Ronaldo or his mullet). Or maybe he’s looking to penetrate the world of WAGs and find the next Jenna Jameson. I’d personally bank on the last one. You know at least 33% of those WAGs would get their boots knocked for a little bit of change and a firm slap on the ass “job well done” at the end.

But no. Milton wants to integrate himself into the world of football to take a moral stand against hooliganism. Seriously.

Milton told TV3 he was disappointed by the club’s failure to tackle its hooliganism problem.

“I think I am an icon for people who fight. I think these people listen to me and what I have to say,” he said.

Well, he’s certainly not in it to provide the fans with a quality football team to watch. I know if I ~~am definitely going to be at AIK Stockholm games~~ were to attend a game, my eyes would be fixed upon the video screens at the stadium, not the pitch.

And of course, the club’s current hierarchy is speaking out against D. Whorebucks, saying:

“The values that AIK stands for - and which are expressed on a daily basis - are far, far removed from the values I consider the porn industry to stand for,” Bystedt told Aftonbladet.

Amen, brother. Amen. However, I’m going to have to side with Berth here, as the world needs more people like him. (The fighting hooliganism part. Not the producing mass amounts of porn featuring Swedish blondes part. Honest.)

* - For those of you who are more proactive, you can simply google “Private Media Group” to get updates on the financial happenings and company goals of PMG - which was voted by Forbes as one of the 20 best small companies in the world in 2002. Which makes it the best and most legitimate porn venture ever. According to me. And also the greatest research project in the history of investment and/or time.