

England
A Championship-Calibre Parachustist
By: chris |Well, it’s quite evident why this guy isn’t doing these shows in the Prem. This is a member of the Red Devils, the British Army’s parachuting team, who attempted to land in the stadium during the Burnley - Ipswich Town Championship game this weekend. Unfortunately, he wasn’t aiming for the roof. He was aiming for [...]
Drogba vs Deco at Chelsea
By: Daryl |Don’t let that headline mislead you: Didier Drogba and Deco are not getting into any fistfights at Stamford Bridge. Mostly because Deco would get dismantled. I’m talking about a clash of styles here.
For the last three season Chelsea have played a distinct style of football. I wouldn’t call it long ball, because Chelsea’s players are [...]
10 Things We Learned in the Premier League
By: Daryl |1. Debut goals are easy
When Arsenal debutant Samir Nasri scored just four minutes into his Premier League career, he set the tone for goalscoring debutants over the weekend. Egyptian striker Amir Zaki got the idea with a left footed strike for Wigan, Deco got himself a great goal to seal an impressive performance for Chelsea, [...]
Deco - Good at Football, Bad at Tackling
By: Daryl |Deco introduced himself to the Premier League with a brilliant display for Chelsea against Portsmouth. Playing alongside Joe Cole and behind Nicolas Anelka he had the playmaker thing down pat, making Cheslea look fluid than in recent seasons and capping the whole thing was a goal.
But he also introduced himself to Portsmouth midfielder Lassana Diarra [...]
Let’s Hope This Isn’t an Omen for West Brom Fans…
By: Daryl |West Bromwich Albion fans are (quite rightly) very proud of their team making it into the 2008/9 Premier League. But let’s hope this Baggies fan’s attempt to reach the top of a fence isn’t a bad omen for their season back with the big boys. Because nothing says “relegation” quite like falling down just as [...]
Prem 08-09: Fearless Predictions
By: chris |And with the season upon us, it’s time for more predictions which will almost certainly not come true because my crystal ball is dirty and unreliable. Just like Man City’s ownership.
Premier League 2008/9 Predictions - Week 1
By: Daryl |It’s a bit of a Premier League predict-o-rama on The Offside today. I’ve already taken a shot at what the final 2008/9 Premiership table will look like (or more likely won’t) and Chris has weighed up the likely winners and losers in the sack race (if the sack race actually has winners.) But now it’s [...]
Prem 08-09: The Sack Race
By: chris |The beginning of the Premiership season is upon us, and that means a few things:
i. If you root for someone outside the Big Four, start dreaming of the UEFA Cup.
ii. Referees will be forced into hiding again.
iii. Get your hair gel now, ladies, because England is going to be depleted by November.
iv. At least [...]
Premier League Prediction: Final Standings 2008/9
By: Daryl |The Premier League gets underway tomorrow, and I’m feeling brave. So brave that I’ve taken a (likely woefully inaccurate) guess at how the 2008/9 Premier League table will finish, one to twenty.
Read on to see what the final table almost certainly won’t look like, and even further on to where I try and justify my [...]
Frank Lampard is Now the Premier League’s Top Earner
By: Daryl |And so Frank Lampard has got himself the contract he wanted. To be fair to Frank, he only ever asked for one thing: loads of money every week for the next five years. My guess is that all the talk about moving to Inter Milan was half a veiled threat and half a Plan B [...]
If You Can’t Beat ‘Em…Pray
By: chris |Have to hand it to Rovers, they’re getting creative in finding ways to make an assault on the top of the Prem. Obviously most teams can’t compete with the Big Four financially because even if you’ve got beaucoup bucks, they’ve simply got more. They’ve also got a kung fu grip on the European spots, [...]
Former United Prospect Rakes In Record Injury Compensation
By: chris |Ben Collett was at one point supposed to be The Future Guy for Manchester United. Even before The Gelled One, he was going to run rampant down the Old Trafford wings and dazzling the crowd. But before he could even get a chance to fulfill that promise, his career was effectively ended by a brutal [...]
Ashley Carew Scores a Free Kick From His Own Half
By: Daryl |The non-Premier League side of English football was back with a bang this weekend. Not only was there Kevin Phillips off the bench ninetysomethingth minute matchwinner for Birmingham in the Championship, there was this goal in League Two.
Barnet’s Ashley Carew strikes the free kick from inside his own half but still beat the Chesterfield keeper [...]
How to Keep Your Best Players, Playground Style
By: Daryl |I recently (and more than a little prematurely) hailed Martin O’Neill as a genius for holding on to Gareth Barry via the tactic of quoting Liverpool a high price for his best player and not accepting a penny less.
But that’s not the only tactic for preventing your players from leaving. Our latest football comic from [...]
Premier League Should Have Seen Man City Mess Coming
By: Daryl |Despite all the rumours of human rights abuse, Thaksin Shinawatra passed the Premier League club owner “fit and proper test”. Why? Because he had money. Lots and lots of money.
But now Shinawatra is in all sorts of trouble. The Thailand Supreme Court has issued a warrant for his arrest, after he failed to appear in [...]





