http://www.theoffside.com League Football, Soccer News and Views from Around the World Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:55:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 http://www.theoffside.com/world-football/adriano-gets-quarantined-for-fatness.html http://www.theoffside.com/world-football/adriano-gets-quarantined-for-fatness.html#comments Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:51 +0000 chris http://www.theoffside.com/world-football/adriano-gets-quarantined-for-fatness.html Adriano is both one of the most gifted strikers of his generation and one of the most disappointing, ballooning to Ronaldo’s late-career playing weight right smack in the middle of his prime, among other, non-gravitational-field-related issues (drinking, partying, shooting people, etc). Now at Corinthians and fresh off an Achilles injury and platter of Happy Meals, [...]]]> http://www.theoffside.com/world-football/adriano-gets-quarantined-for-fatness.html/feed 0 http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/the-early-candidate-for-2012.html http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/the-early-candidate-for-2012.html#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:49:30 +0000 chris http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/the-early-candidate-for-2012.html Close the polls, it’s already over – the goal of 2012 has landed. It comes way of Bolivia and Erlan Mealla of Nacional Potosi, and it’s so good you’d half expect it to be a viral. Maybe the graininess is a purposeful attempt to evoke a sense of legitimacy? It seems punishment for such a fantastic [...]]]> http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/the-early-candidate-for-2012.html/feed 3 http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/spicing-up-the-official-club-page.html http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/spicing-up-the-official-club-page.html#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 17:30:36 +0000 chris http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/spicing-up-the-official-club-page.html When you’re a Brazilian club of the third division and you’re starved for hits on your website, there are only two possible options: i. Hire a spammer. ii. Porn. Brasiliense has opted for choice number two, decking out their club website with adult-oriented imagery of females in various states of undress. And judging by a Google Images [...]]]> http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/spicing-up-the-official-club-page.html/feed 0 http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/the-shadiest-pitch-in-colombia.html http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/the-shadiest-pitch-in-colombia.html#comments Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:51:09 +0000 chris http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/the-shadiest-pitch-in-colombia.html This is what looks to be just any half-football/half-other sports (heavily football, they say) pitch in any neighborhood in the world, lacking all of the requisite quality for anything but a casual game. It is remarkable only in its unremarkability. And then it got an umbrella. It looks completely and utterly out of place [...]]]> http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/the-shadiest-pitch-in-colombia.html/feed 0 http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/smelling-salts.html http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/smelling-salts.html#comments Wed, 04 Jan 2012 16:14:54 +0000 chris http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/smelling-salts.html In most places, perhaps not the seedy underbelly of Bangkok, this type of treatment lying down will run you some cash and an adult worker willing to go a bit off book. This fine gentlemen from Brazil provides his goods and services free of charge. And though this injury is of a different variety, there [...]]]> http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/smelling-salts.html/feed 0 http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/adriano-miraculously-off-the-hook.html http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/adriano-miraculously-off-the-hook.html#comments Thu, 29 Dec 2011 18:36:56 +0000 chris http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/adriano-miraculously-off-the-hook.html Big football star has a disastrous off-pitch incident involving gun play in which a woman is shot (non-fatal, of course). Victim initially tells police the footballer fired the gun. After a few days the victim changes her story and suddenly, she’s the one who fired the gun. And what exactly are you thinking? Maybe they were drunk [...]]]> http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/adriano-miraculously-off-the-hook.html/feed 0 http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/pele-v-diego-round-morning-medication.html http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/pele-v-diego-round-morning-medication.html#comments Fri, 02 Dec 2011 01:58:46 +0000 chris http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/pele-v-diego-round-morning-medication.html Or Pele v Argentina. Or Diego v Argentina. Or Brazil v Argentina. Or maybe Pele’s mind v reason. Or maybe Diego v holding his tongue. There are a lot of wars being waged that aren’t due to end before one of both of these gentlemen perishes. Pele thumped the world with his (unbiased) thinking that Neymar [...]]]> http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/pele-v-diego-round-morning-medication.html/feed 2 http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/pele-pops-up-for-air-again.html http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/pele-pops-up-for-air-again.html#comments Wed, 30 Nov 2011 20:00:01 +0000 chris http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/pele-pops-up-for-air-again.html The official FIFA website says 925 days to kickoff. This means 925 days of people requesting Pele’s opinion. Opinions on such things as Lionel Messi and football and Lionel Messi and Brazil’s hosting capabilities and Lionel Messi and quantum mechanics and Lionel Messi. Posed Leo v Neymar (the Brazilian attacker playing at Santos), Pele offered his [...]]]> http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/pele-pops-up-for-air-again.html/feed 1 http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/hey-a-video-of-ronaldinho-on-the-internet.html http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/hey-a-video-of-ronaldinho-on-the-internet.html#comments Mon, 28 Nov 2011 18:29:20 +0000 chris http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/hey-a-video-of-ronaldinho-on-the-internet.html If you’ve read the Ronaldinho-highlight-reel-related news these past days, it’s possible you’re still suffering the painful ramifications of bleach in one’s eyes. Things ain’t exactly what they used to be. For those of us who choose to remember Dinho at his best – or with pants on – he had a little fun at training [...]]]> http://www.theoffside.com/south-america/hey-a-video-of-ronaldinho-on-the-internet.html/feed 1 http://www.theoffside.com/world-football/skunkhawks-not-wanted-in-madrid.html http://www.theoffside.com/world-football/skunkhawks-not-wanted-in-madrid.html#comments Mon, 14 Nov 2011 17:17:55 +0000 chris http://www.theoffside.com/world-football/skunkhawks-not-wanted-in-madrid.html Neymar’s a bit of a savior, on the pitch and off, considering his magical ability to be tabloid fodder for the wilting transfer pages while also serving to make anyone else’s hair look better by comparison. Turns out Real Madrid wants his on-pitch abilities, but nothing to do with his hair (possibly a lie, but [...]]]> http://www.theoffside.com/world-football/skunkhawks-not-wanted-in-madrid.html/feed 0