The Best Relationships Football Has To Offer

By: chris | February 14th, 2008

Football is a global sport, one which cultivates relationships of all shapes, colors and sizes. Off the field fans come together by having a similar passion, but the bonds can become much stronger on the field, between those involved with the game itself. So in honor of Valentine’s Day we’d like to offer up some of the most loving relationships in the world of football today.

Didier Droga & Jose Mourinho.: So Mourinho has been linked to Barca recently and Drogbacite is reportedly being not-so-subtle about his desires to make Camp Nou home as well. Gee, what a coincidence. They’re like two lustful teenagers whose families won’t allow them together so they need to escape abroad to find each other again. All we’re missing is for Mourinho to attend a Chelsea game and Drogba to run up to the stands and declare “I wish I knew how to quit you.” It’s almost sweet. Almost.

Massimo Moratti & Adriano.: The portly Brazilian is like the boyfriend who spends his days on the couch, refuses to get a job and hits up his lady for weed money every couple days so that he can “relax”. For some odd reason, MM won’t break up with him and no one knows why. (I personally suspect Adriano has some serious shit on Moratti like Steph has on Isiah. It’s really the only logical explanation.)

Cristiano Ronaldo & Himself.: Somewhere, Narcissus is watching from his grave and thinking “Jesus, what a pompous ass“.

Maurizio Zamparini & Francesco Guidolin.: No matter how many times they break up, and how many other people they see in between, they always end up back together. One of these days Zampa is going to give in to true love and hand Frank a lifetime contract.

Gionatha Spinesi & Juan Manuel Vargas.: An unlikely couple, but they’re obviously not shy about their man love. We suggest they do it somewhere other than Sicily. Just sayin’.

Lukas Podolski & Bastian Schweinsteiger.: Alright, this one passed love affair long ago and is in full on creepy mode. Not because of Lukas & Bastian (though they aren’t exactly helping), but because of all the websites on the net devoted to the phenomenon known as Schweinski. It’s almost enough to make one lose faith in the world, but then we are saved by…..

David Beckham & His Balls.: What is it about the Manchester United #7 and the enjoyment of one’s self? Does it rewire the brain somehow? Beckham, though image-conscious (alright, bit of an understatement - just a bit), isn’t nearly as bad as Crissy Ron in the vanity department. The man just likes to touch his balls a lot. What’s wrong with that? Lord knows what kind of magical powers those things hold. (I suspect it has something to do with making the perfect grilled cheese sandwich. Bastard.)

Xabi Alonso & Mikel Arteta.: They were BFF growing up on the same team as children and stay BFF living right next door to each other on the same street in Liverpool. Only now they play for bitter rivals, proving that friendship is more important than wearing blue or red. Unless you live in Los Angeles. Awwwww.