10 Things We Learned in the Premier League

1. Premiership goalkeepers hate Radhi Jaïdi
Birmingham’s Tunisian defender has been up to no good lately. For Birmingham free kicks he stands in front of the opposition keeper and stares at him. He’s in an offside position, but because he makes no attempt to play the ball he’s apparently “not interfering.” Birmingham scored against Everton using this technique recently (Mauro Zarate’s free kick) and also against Liverpool this weekend (Sebastian Larsson’s free kick.) Birmingham boss Alex McLeish admits the law is “abysmal,” but he’s going to keep doing it anyway.

2. Jermaine Pennant has no loyalty
Birmingham took a chance on the winger after he’d been jailed for drink driving. They even let him play with a bloody electronic tag on his ankle. And how does he repay them? With relegation threatened Birmingham 2-0, Pennant picked up the ball outside his own box, dribbles the length of the field, nutmegs a Blues player and feeds Voronin, who touches to Crouch who score. Pennant was also involved in the build up to Benayoun’s equaliser.

3. Ricardo Carvalho owes Michael Ballack a drink
Carvalho’s backpass for Rooney’s equalizer was nothing short of horrendous. If Ballack hadn’t put away that late penalty, Carvalho would have basically cost Chelsea the title.

4. Stay off the grass
Or else you get a punch from one of Chelsea’s jardiniers.

5. Rio Ferdinand likes kicking people
Not only did the Manchester United captain (very much accidentally) kick a female steward while taking his post-match frustrations out on a wall, he also kicked Owen Hargreaves a couple of times. Hargreaves was down on the floor having taken a ball to his delicate man bits. Rather than showing any sympathy, Rio was over there playfully kicking Hargreaves and laughing. Talk about kicking a man when he’s down.

6. Andriy Shevchenko has been playing in the wrong position
No wonder he hasn’t looked like a 30 million pounds striker. Shevchenko’s best position is defending the far post, as proved by his last minute, technically game winning off the line clearance from Rio Ferdinand’s late effort.

7. Dennis Wise is not a good dinner companion
Luka Modric was wined and dined by Newcastle suit Dennis Wise last week. And then he signed for Tottenham. So clearly Wisey’s table manners are to blame.

8. Mwaruwari Benjani has the best celebration in the Premiership
Not sure exactly what it means but I think when Benjani points to the left, the middle, then the right and then points all the way across that he’s dedicating his goal to the crowd. I think. I like it though. Any other interpretations?

9. It doesn’t matter whether you celebrate or not
In the Everton vs Aston Villa battle for fifth place, Phil Neville’s decent shot deflected off Martin Laursen and went in, giving the Toffees a 56th minute 1-0 lead and Neville celebrated like he’d just won the World Cup. But Aston Villa equalized in the 80th minute through Gabi Agbonlahor. So when Everton scored again through Joseph Yobo in the 84th, captain Neville pointedly refused to celebrate. Aston Villa equalized again in the 86th minute anyway, through John Carew. It’s almost as if the footballing gods don’t care whether Phil Neville celebrates or not.

10. What goes around comes around, in a good way
Fulham have been absolutely awful in the closing stages all season, throwing away games and points from 80 minutes onwards with alarming regularity. It’s arguably the main reason The Cottagers are up to their necks and in relegation juice. But suddenly on Saturday, it was payback time. From 2-0 down, Fulham scored in the 70th, 79th and 90th minutes to claim a 3-2 win, and make survival a possibility.

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Category: English Premier League