10 Things We Learned in the Premier League

By: Daryl | January 21st, 2008

Kev Keegster The big story in the Premier League this weekend was the return of Kevin Keegan and his glorious attacking football. Instead we saw a Newcastle team with a defender (David Rozenhal) playing centre midfield and a goalless draw. Not really Kev’s fault though, as half his team is in Ghana. Elsewhere Man Utd and Arsenal continued their race to the top with Fergie making rude gestures and Wenger thanking the football Gods that Togo didn’t make the Africa Cup of Nations.

Here are 10 Things We Learned in The Premier League…

1. Kevin Keegan is not the Geordie Messiah…
…because Shay Given is. The keeper prevented King Kev’s return to Tyneside ending in disaster when he made a brilliant reflex save at the death to deny Bolton’s J’Lloyd Samuel. I’m all for Wor Kev but if Sam Allardyce had drawn 0-0 at home to Bolton there’d be calls for his head.

2. Matt Derbyshire wants to play Middlesbrough every week
The Blackburn striker has just two goals this season. One against Middlesbrough in August ‘07, the other against Middlesbrough in January ‘08.

3. Edwin van der Sar is too tall
Dave Kitson found himself one on one with the lanky Man Utd keeper, but the ginger FA-Cup hater made a foolish attempt to lift the ball over the Dutch giant. Lobbing van der Saar is like trying to run between Shaun Wright-Phillips legs: impossible.

4. You can take the man out of Govan…
Fergie is in trouble (again) for his “gesture” to Reading fans this weekend. He claims he was just celebrating a hard-fought win. But I say: waving your fist is a normal, acceptable form of celebration (ask Tim Henman) that translates as “yes!” But when you place your opposing hand on your bicep and make a pumping action, that translates as “up yours Reading fans.”

5. What African Cup of Nations?
Even with so many African stars missing from the Premier League (Salomon Kalou did this today) the weekend’s games are still dominated by Africans who weren’t attending. Togo’s Emmanuel Adebayor scored two headers for Arsenal, while Zimbabwe’s Mwaruwari Benjani netted a hat-trick for Portsmouth.

6. Titus Bramble is back!
He had me worried with that goal against Liverpool and a string of error free displays. But he reassured everyone this weekend with some classic Bramble.

7. The six yard box should be renamed “the panic zone”
Both Sunli Tuncay for Middlesbrough and Sebastian Larsson for Birmingham missed open goals from inside the six yard box this weekend. Larsson has a bit of an excuse in that the ball took a horrible bobble right in front of him, but the usually reliable Tuncay has no excuse.

8. Carlton Cole is the new Rudi Voller
The ~~Chelsea reject~~ West Ham striker pulled out a goal reminiscent of the more famous frizzy haired German when he flicked the ball up with his back to goal and turned to hit an acrobatic volley. Nice one Carlton.

9. Nicolas Anelka is keeping us waiting…
Maybe he just has a great sense of drama but Anelka is now two games into his Chelsea career and we’re yet to see a goal. Let’s not start using phrases like “the new Andriy Shevchenko” just yet, as Anelka has contribute to two Chelsea wins and seems popular with his new teammates. But we’re still waiting for that first goal.

10. Robbie Keane must be getting dizzy
Robbie Keane came off the bench for Spurs, put the armband on and then latched on to Cerny clearance to poke the ball past Sunderland keeper Craig Gordon. That was Keane’s 100th goal for Spurs, which means he’s done that forward roll celebration 100 times now (or not. See comments.)