Fabricio Coloccini Needs a Word With His Agent

Seems centre-back Fabricio Colocini is all set to join Newcastle from Deportivo de La Coruña after the clubs agreed a fee – reportedly around £10 million. Does the big Argentinian know what he’s getting himself into? Newcastle United is where defender’s careers go to die.

The bones of once respected centre-backs that currently litter St James’ Park include Jean-Alain Boumsong, Titus Bramble and Caçapa. David Rozenahl struggled for form last season too. And and there are other less remembered defenders whose careers stalled at St. James’, like python-biceped American Oguchi Onyewu, who everyone thought was perfectly suited to the Premier League, until he went on loan to Newcastle.

Only three central defenders have impressed in a Toon strip recently: but Jonathan Woodgate spent half his time injured (actually his legendary injury curse may have started at Newcastle), Sylvain Distin was smart enough to get out while the going was good and Steven Taylor grew up in the academy so is probably somehow immune.

Maybe Coloccini will be the guy who finally sorts out Newcastle’s defensive woes? With 27 international appearances for Argentina and seven years experience in La Liga, he’s certainly better suited to the job than Titus Bramble.

But if the likes of Boumsong and Caçapa can go from formidable defenders (in Scotland and France respectively) to laughing stocks just by wearing black and white stripes, then what chance has Coloccini got with hair like that?

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Category: English Premier League