Hooray! Dropping your Shorts on the Pitch is not a Crime

The short-lived police investigation into Joey Barton’s buttocks bearing at Everton last weekend has come to an end and the verdict is something exhibitionists everywhere can rejoice about: it is ok to drop your shorts and moon fans.

The police investigation will now be turned over to the FA, who will probably give Barton a spanking because publicly exposing your backside is harmful to the children. Barton’s Manchester City manager Stuart Pearce has an interesting take on the whole affair, playing the old player-giving-shirt-to-disabled-fan card to justify Barton’s buffoonery.

“I see one of my players give his shirt to a disabled fan. As he’s walking off the pitch he’s being sledged about things I’d prefer not to go into – but we know what we’re talking about.

“He kept a smile on his face throughout the whole incident, and he’s done something that at worst is a little bit childish. At best it’s a bit of comedy that everyone should laugh off, but I still have to deal with it several days later.”

Let that be a lesson to all of us. If you are going to do something stupid make sure you have a smile plastered on your face and a disabled fan nearby just in case. A lesson that thieves targeting Liverpool players’ homes didn’t heed.

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Category: English Premier League