Keano Shows True Genius, Gets Player Banned From Bar

By: chris | December 5th, 2007

Apparently everybody in Sunderland has started to listen to Roy Keane after that 7-1 thumping they took at the hands of Everton a couple weeks ago. The Black Cats went on to beat Premiership-overwhelmed Derby 1-0 on a goal scored by Anthony Stokes, former property of the Gunners (which usually means he’s decent), and then Tony’s favorite bar went and banned him from the premises at the advice of Roy Keane. Seriously. After the win Roy called one of Sunderland’s hottest hot spots (we’d guess), The Black Spider, an “obvious pitfall”. Damn. So what did The Black Spider do? You’d think cash in on a big-spending Prem football player, right? Nope, he’s out. And he’s not allowed back in until the season ends.

Tony Griffiths, the director, had this to say:

“Because we have a private VIP area, it is always very popular and the players know that this is the liveliest club in Sunderland. But as great Sunderland supporters, we obviously want to see them do well. And if Roy Keane thinks The Glass Spider is a distraction, then we have decided to bar Anthony until the football season ends so he can concentrate on his game.”

And what he forgot to mention is “we’d also love to host the next Sunderland sex tape in our VIP room, but only after the season has ended. Or the winter break. Friday? You’re free Friday? Alright, we can make that work.” What would a day be like without a bunch of standup gentleman, yeah?

People have been calling Roy the next great coach since his stint with Sunderland began, often likening him to that guy he played a couple years for over in Manchester. But I can’t imagine anyone thought Keano would display such genius as to get a player banned from a bar. This is groundbreaking stuff. Can you imagine how many managers must be taking notes on this? Maybe even hoping Keano throws a seminar. Whatever the case, it’s high time to be a bar owner in England, because we may just see random bar names thrown out during interviews hoping they’ll bar the doors.

Lucas from Sunderland has the full details, latest developments and reaction from the boy’s devastated family.