Make way for the Monster Trucks and Man Bags

By: Bob | August 1st, 2007

It is important to have a proper workspace. On a weekly basis I have someone come into The Offside’s global world headquarters to make sure my chair is ergonomically correct, my keyboard is devoid of any post-donut residue and that moldy food in the office kitchen is removed. I mention this because I am sympathetic to the plight of the Manchester United players who also deserve to have a proper work environment.

A proper work environment in their case requires a parking lot that will accommodate their gas-guzzling, high-priced, monster truck-sized vehicles. Imagine the frustration they have been feeling pulling into the parking lot only to realize that their Hummers and Bentleys can barely fit. It is a small miracle that they were able to overcome this challenge and win the Premiership last season.

And then there are the dressing rooms. Don’t even get them started on that one. Evidently the current arrangement is inadequate for their needs. Quoting one of those unnamed sources from The Sun:

“And the refurbishment plans include the dressing rooms, which are too small to fit in all the lads’ manbags cosmetics. They have more products than the WAGS.”

Clearly it is time for this storied club to join the 21st Century. Heck, I bet Bayern Munich has built an entire room just to accommodate their keeper’s accessories.

Some Related Stories:

Category: English Premier League, World Football

« Leicester’s Players go down the Toilet | Home | Sumo and Soccer don’t Mix »

The Offside RSS Feeds

moi

why'd i be jealous? I'm a girl for pete's sake!
Pedro P

Envy is a an ugly thing, guys... :-)

Just admit you're jealous... :-) In PT we don't have our masculinity so shaky that we can't use a manbag (I admit it's not the best thing in the world)...

Anyway, case you didn't get it, if you're CR you can basicly wear anything that it'll market it way high in the sky... ;-)
moi

I've always thought C.Ronaldo had a slight problem with knowing his gender;)
chris

Given the option of choosing between players injecting themselves in the ass with testosterone or a bunch of players carrying around 'manbags,' I'd take steroids every day. Of course this excludes Jose Canseco because he falls into both categories.