Mystery ManU Player Caught Sunbathing On Old Trafford Pitch

By: chris | February 6th, 2009

In this age of inflated player wages one would think most professional athletes, much less those playing for Manchester United, would be able to afford a membership to the electric beach. Not the case for one Red Devil, who was found lying underneath the UV grow lights for the Old Trafford pitch. No really.

When asked for his highlight of the year, the groundsman said:

“Finding a player sunbathing on the pitch under the grow lights!”

Would it really surprise anyone to find out that Cristiano Ronaldo had escalated his methods to industrial landscaping equipment in the neverending quest for the perfect tan? Hardly.

But not for my money. For that, there’s only one culprit: Paul Scholes. Quite frightening to think what he’d look like without that tan, really.

Not quite definitive though, so two questions:

i. Any other theories as to the mystery sunbather?
ii. How long til they get cancer? April? May at the latest?

	Soccer Forums	Team/International Results

Category: English Premier League

Tags: Cristiano Ronaldo, English Premier League, Manchester United, Paul Scholes, sunbathing

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Comments  

• Wayne |  February 6th, 2009 at 12:50 pm

  
  
  

  Eventually there’s going to be a lighter shade on the pitch where the player lies, once that shows up, the outline of the body will reveal the culprit.
  For my money, it was Rafael or Fabio missing the hot Brazilian weather…

  Posted from Ireland

  

• elle |  February 6th, 2009 at 12:56 pm

  
  
  

  I say Vidic…but he wasn’t sunbathing..he was just resting after ripping 300 scousers to shreds

  Posted from United States

  

• Mike |  February 6th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

  
  
  

  couldn’t be Rooney…that boy hasn’t seen color in ages

  Posted from United States

  

• Michel-Olivier(Slider) |  February 6th, 2009 at 1:20 pm

  
  
  

  wes brown

  Posted from United States

  

• BMatthews |  February 6th, 2009 at 2:13 pm

  
  
  

  I’m just picturing Sir Alex in a speedo….maybe I have problems

  Posted from United States

  

• Johonna |  February 6th, 2009 at 5:14 pm

  
  
  

  Maybe? Definitely.

  {shudder} Now I have that picture firmly lodged in my mind – thanks a lot!

  Posted from United States

  

• Johnny |  February 6th, 2009 at 5:19 pm

  
  
  

  Nani, weary of the “are you okay Nani?” jokes, became committed to definitively set himself apart from his bleaching doppelganger.

  Posted from United States

  

• Phil M. |  February 7th, 2009 at 4:15 pm

  
  
  

  Sir alex does have that red face and white halos around his eyes hahahaha

  Posted from United States

  

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