Premiership Predictions Week 11: Spurs to Beat Liverpool

Saturday, 1 November 2008

Everton v Fulham, 12:45
Looks like an Everton win, until you realize the Toffees have only picked up two home points this season. And Andy Johnson (finally) found his shooting boots on Wednesday, so maybe he’ll do a Bentley against his old employers. If you’re feeling ambitious, AJ’s 250-1 for a hat-trick.
Odds: (win/draw/win via Paddy Power) Everton 4-6, Draw 13-5, Fulham 9-2
Prediction: 1-1

Chelsea v Sunderland, 15:00
If Sunderland can’t beat Stoke, they’re not going to trouble Chelsea.
Odds: Blues 1-5, Draw 5-1, Sunderland 15-1
Prediction: 2-1
Bonus Prediction: In his quest for ever more outlandish hairstyles, Djibril Cisse will ask Petr Cech where he got that cool helmet look done. There’ll be an awkward silence until Malouda explains the situation.

Man Utd v Hull, 15:00
The Tigers were tamed by Chelsea on Wednesday. This is going to look pretty similar. Hull have done well, and will continue to do pretty well. But the slide away from the European qualification starts… now.
Odds: Man Utd 1-5, Draw 5-1, Hull 15-1
Prediction: 3-0

Middlesbrough v West Ham, 15:00
Despite ‘Boro’s snoozy reputation, they haven’t been involved in a goalless draw since November 2007. And – like a tiny Italian bedwetter – Franky Zola still has no clean sheets for West Ham. So while this doesn’t look all that appetizing… there will be goals.
Odds: ‘Boro evens, Draw 23-10, Hammers 14-5
Prediction: 2-2

Portsmouth v Wigan, 15:00
Tony Adams overthought things against Liverpool and dropped top scorer Jermain Defoe. So presumably this week he’ll play David James as a lone striker and put Defoe in goal.
Odds: Pompey 10-11, Draw 12-5, Latics 3-1
Prediction: 1-0 to Pompey (unless Adams really does play Defoe in goal)

Stoke v Arsenal, 15:00
Arsenal have more defensive worries now that Captain Nicotine is injured, but at least that means the all-French backline who did so poorly against Spurs is disbanded. Stoke will be plucky, but Arsenal will win.
Odds: Potters 15-2, Draw 10-3, Gunners 2-5
Prediction: 2-0 to Arsenal
Bonus Prediction: Arsenal players to show solidarity with Gallas through team “cigarette break” goal celebration. Ref will show them all a yellow card, but only to say “this is what it does to your teeth.”

West Brom v Blackburn, 15:00
Two teams in sh*tty form. For enthusiasts only.
Odds: Baggies 6-4, Draw 9-4, Rovers 9-5
Prediction: 1-1

Tottenham v Liverpool, 17:30
Liverpool are still unbeaten, but that can’t last forever. I see Spurs taking the momentum from Wednesday’s 4-4 and pulling out a surprise win. Also, Luka Modric will finally rediscover his testicles and put in a performance worthy of his reputation.
Odds: Spurs 11-4, Draw 12-5, ‘Pool evens
Prediction: 2-1

Sunday, 2 November 2008

Bolton v Man City, 16:00
I hope Gary Megson likes playing Championship Manager because Bolton are starting to smell like relegation. Robinho and friends. will only make it worse.
Odds: Trotters 21-10, Draw 23-10, Citeh 13-10
Prediction: 1-3

Monday, 3 November 2008

Newcastle v Aston Villa, 20:00
Michael Owen is confident of being fit for this one. But he shouldn’t be so confident of playing as Newcsatle’s results have picked up since he got injured. Kinnear’s Toon resurgence continues at home with a hard earned point.
Odds: Toon 15-8, Draw 23-10, Villa 7-5
Prediction: 1-1
Bonus Prediction: Joey Barton to kiss the Newcastle badge again. This time with tongues.

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Category: English Premier League