Premiership Predictions: Week 9

By: Daryl | October 24th, 2008

Saturday, 25 October 2008

Everton v Man Utd, 12:00
Poor David Moyes. All he wants is for Everton’s season to turn around so he can start enjoying that massive new salary. But the damn Premier League fixture computer keeps pitting The Toffees against teams with bigger and better squads. Better luck next week David.
Odds: (win/draw/win) Everton 6-1, Draw 11-1, Man Utd 8-15
Prediction: 1-3
Bonus Prediction: Half-time entertainment will be a Head to Head Scot-Off between Fergie and Moyes. Featured events: caber-tossing, whiskey drinking and other lazily stereotypical Scottish activities.

Sunderland v Newcastle, 12:45
They say form goes out the window for local derbies. But Newcastle are still for sale and still managed by Joe Kinnear. Sunderland are neither of these things.
Odds: Sunderland 6-5, Draw 23-10, Newcastle 23-10
Prediction: 2-1 to Sunderland
Bonus Prediction: Michael Owen will Sky+/Tivo it and “watch it later, if I’m not too busy”.

West Brom v Hull, 15:00
Tigers vs Throstles. Carnivorous alpha predator vs a small bird. No contest in a land battle, but no contest in an aerial battle either.
Odds: West Brom 5-4, Draw 23-10, Hull 11-5
Prediction: 2-2

Blackburn v Middlesbrough, 17:30
Zzzz… wha? Oh, yeah. Boro still reeling from the 5-0 whooping they got from Chelsea. Blackburn are no Chelsea, but they’re no Spurs either.
Odds: Blackburn 11-10, Draw 23-10, Middlesbrough 5-2
Prediction: 1-0
Bonus Prediction: This game will not be the main feature on Match of the Day.

Sunday, 26 October 2008
Chelsea v Liverpool, 13:30
1st vs 2nd. Both teams have 20 points, Chelsea have the better goal difference. Should be good stuff, and will be even better if Fernando Torres recovers from his ouchy hamstring.
Odds: Chelsea are odds on to win, which comes as a surprise to me: Chelsea 10-11, Draw 9-4, Liverpool 10-3
Prediction: 1-0 without Torres, but 1-1 if he plays.
Bonus Prediction: There will be at least one controversial refereeing decision, requiring endless replays on Sky Sports News (and on The Offside too, YouTube permitting).

Man City v Stoke, 15:00
Man City have Robinho, Jo, Elano and endless supplies of money. Stoke City have Liam Lawrence, who injured falling himself over his own dog. Home win.
Odds: Man City 1-2, Draw 3-1, Stoke 6-1
Prediction: 3-0
Bonus Prediction: Man City to put in an offer for Rory Delap’s arms, but not his legs.

Portsmouth v Fulham, 17:00
Portsmouth have won three in a row at home. Fulham have lost three in a row away from home. ‘Nuff said?
Odds: Portsmouth 3-4, Draw 5-2, Fulham 15-4
Prediction: 3-1

Tottenham v Bolton, 15:00
How about this for a stat, which I’ve “borrowed” from the BBC: Bolton have gained more points (26), and scored more goals (24) against Tottenham than against any other club in the Premier League. Still, this is a game that Spurs could realistically win.
Odds: Tottenham 10-11, Draw 12-5, Bolton 3-1
Prediction: 1-0
Bonus Prediction It won’t be pretty.

West Ham v Arsenal, 16:00
West Ham are now on a losing streak (only two in a row, but still) and Arsenal looked the business against Fenerbahce on Tuesday. And the normally cautious Arsene Wenger is now claiming Theo Walcott has more to his game than Leo Messi. He’s wrong of course, but since Messi doesn’t play for West Ham it won’t matter this weekend.
Odds: West Ham 5-1, Draw, 13-5, Arsenal 8-13
Prediction: 1-4
Bonus Prediction: Manuel Almunia to push his “Manuel for England” claim to the next level with a pre-match acapella rendition of “Three Lions”.

Wigan v Aston Villa, 15:00
Amr Zaki keeps on scoring, but Wigan might find things tougher than usual without the suspended Antonio Valencia.
Odds: Wigan 13-8, Draw 23-10, Aston Villa 13-8
Prediction 1-2