Roy Keane Says ‘Go @#$% Yourself’

The world is not lacking for stories detailing how Roy Keane did the exact opposite of what you’d expect from your normal living, breathing, feeling living being. Today we have another story about the man currently leading Ipswich Town into a plummet to League One. A story which should draw no gasps, no blank stares, and no questions. Typical Roy being Roy, as surprisingly unsurprising as it might sound, courtesy of BFF Dwight Yorke.

As Dwight tells us:

Yorke pinged his old Manchester United team-mate a heartfelt phone text, commiserating with him after Keane dramatically quit Sunderland.

But Keane’s blunt three-word reply still shocks his fellow United Treble winner to this day.

And Yorke reveals: “The rumours of his departure had been flying around for a while, but when it happened it was still a surprise.

“So I sent him a text saying how sorry I was how things had turned out, but thanking him for the chance at Sunderland and wishing him all the best for the future.

“Ten minutes later, I got my reply: ‘Go f*** yourself.’

You’re surprised, but not really, right? No low is too low for Roy Keane. But then that’s not the most important line from the report on Mr. Yokre’s Shocking! (!) revelation about the ex-Sunderland manager’s SMS manners. No, it’s this line:

And in his new autobigraphy, Born To Score, Yorke says

You’re surprised, but not really, right?

We’ve reached a point in football where a shocking, perhaps even sensationalist, quote doesn’t mosey along without “in his new autobiography” following in tow. It’s simply the way it’s done. Because when footballers are releasing autobiographies, particularly those who are a grizzled 21 years old (ahem, Mr. Rooney), it’s not about letting the fans into the life of an athlete, as much as they’d like you to believe. No, it’s about extracting the most possible money from your wallet and placing it in theirs. How best to go about this? Quotes like Keano’s will do splendidly.

I don’t think you’d be too hard pressed to find a group of people who think that Roy Keane is a giant twat. But that doesn’t mean the integrity of this quote doesn’t suddenly come into question, as do the rest of these Shocking! (!) revelations in the vicinity of an autobiography release. At worst they’re fabricated, at best the timing is wholly self-serving. It’s all a big con. And to this, Roy Keane would probably say, and rightly so, ‘go @#$% yourself‘.

In his autobiography, of course.

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Category: English Premier League