Stan Kroenke Buys a Chunk of Arsenal. Your Team is Probably Next

You may not know it by looking at his $5 poor man’s Arsene Wenger haircut in the picture to the left, but Stan Kroenke is one of the richest men in the world. He has a net worth of around $2.1 billion thanks to his real estate company and thanks to marrying a Wal-Mart heiress (kids, this is what your parent’s mean when they say you should marry well). Kroenke isn’t one of those billionaires who likes to sit on his money and watch it collect dust in the bank vault. He prefers to take his money from its little hidden box under the bed and to spend it collecting sports teams.

Already the owner of the NBA’s Denver Nuggets, NHL’s Colorado Avalanche, and MLS’ Colorado Rapids, Kroenke now owns ten percent of Arsenal and there is speculation that he will buy the club in the coming weeks because, you know, owning three sports teams already is not nearly exciting enough.

I’ll leave it to others to write about the impact of foreign owners on the English Premier League and the impact this could have on Arsenal. All I can say is that as a sports fan my jealousy of Kroenke knows no bounds. Who hasn’t dreamed about what it would be like to own your favorite team? This glutinous bastard knows that feeling and then some.

Oh well, at least I have better hair. Well, not really, but there has to be another Wal-Mart heiress out there that is still single, right?.

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Category: English Premier League, MLS, World Football