Sven To Be Canned, But What About The Puppet?

By: chris | April 29th, 2008

Judging by recent comments by human rights advocate and Man City owner Thaksin Shinawatra, the reports coming out today stating Sven-Goran Eriksson will be unemployed come the end of the year. Patient guy, that Thaksin. So the paychecks in Manchester will have a new coach to look forward to, but really, nobody really cares about that. What we do care about is: Will Sven the puppet be canned?

Personally I hope so. I have nothing against him, and I think he was a nice addition to the show, but after seeing the obvious impact Wayne has come in to make, I think we can do better. They’ve got so much potential for Jose’s right-hand man just in England that could wipe Sven off the map.

So, in the event that Sven gets canned from “I’m On Setanta Sports” as well as Man City, let’s run down some potential replacements:

Aresene the Voyeur: It’d be ok if you’re alright with Jose and Arsene bickering all show long. I tend to lean with no.

Rafa Benitez: Ditto.

Paul Jewell: I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Avram Grant: Sleeper choice, because you just know Jose would spend the entire show laying into Avram and the froggy man would sit there and just take it.

Harry Redknapp: This is the only reasoning I need.

Fabio Capello: He might not be in the Prem, but this one has endless potential. Can you imagine the dueling egos, with Jose making fun of Don Fabio, The Don devoid of the necessary English for a proper comeback, getting frustrated and yelling “li mortacci tua!!!” 2-3 times a show? Perfection. The personal choice.

Steve McClaren: At least during the Euros as a temporary stand-in while they look for a permanent replacement. Sitting lame duck.

Kev Keegan: Eh….

So who should replace Sven if he gets canned? Any other options worthy of consideration?

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Category: English Premier League

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Sam Hiser

Sven must stay! If he gets canned by Thaksin, then he'll have more time for the show.

Capello, Redknapp or -- ahem -- Aide Boothroyd would be fine additions. I fancy Neil Warnock, too, or guest-appearances by Roy Keane & Niall Quinn as Siamese twins, connected at the earlobe.

It's a glorious tabula rasa, that show.
joejoejoe

If Thaksin hires Jose then I think keeping Sven will be brutally funny. Too brutal really. Manchester City has a cupboard full of young talent and all of their signings combined were the cost of Fernando Torres so I'm not sure why Sven is getting sacked.
Drabik

It would have to be a champion.... How many of those people above are champions?

Not McClaren, not keegan, not grant (not yet anyway, unless you count smaller foreign leagues), not jewell, not redknapp (again, not yet)

Cabbage, arsene, alex, rafa are all champions, as is becks.

However, I hope sven isnt dismissed from both jobs. He will have no excuse of being late now anyway lol
Marco P.

Ditto on Capello. David Beckham would probably be a great punching bag too...
Albert

Whoever is best for Nery to get a good chance at proving himself. Sven seem to have a lot of confidence in him.
chris

I like the idea of an in-studio guest weekly. I honestly thought of a certain accent, in particular a completely unintelligible Scottish accent that sounds more like mumbling than anything else, but couldn't come up with anything. Maybe they could import someone from north of the border.

Though I'm still sticking with Capello as my #1.
Johnny

If other than a gaffer; Joey Barton the Philanthropist or Brad Friedel's Accent could make guest appearance auditions.
Ian Rose

I for one hope puppet Sven stays. But if he has to go, Redknapp or Keegan could work. I would love to see a one-off just like you said, with Jose making fun of Avram and AV answering in one word answers. But it would get old. Right now, I'd take Sven over any of these.