The Offside Fantasy League: How to Profit From Other’s Misery

Arsenal v Manchester United is the big game in the Premier League this weekend. By all means enjoy the game. Go see it if you can get a ticket, watch it on TV if you can’t. Enjoy it. But don’t expect much in the way of points for your team in The Offside Fantasy League, because things are usually pretty tight when the big boys meet. Instead, turn your attention to the whipping boys and pick your team accordingly. Derby County, Middlesbrough, Birmingham City, Wigan and even Tottenham Hotspur are teams to look out for this week because they tend to ship in goals, so pick wisely and you can profit from other people’s misery with lots of SquadGod points.

Usually it’s when Man Utd or Arsenal are playing these teams that goals are almost guaranteed. But seeing as those two are busy with each other this weekend someone else will have to hand Derby a beating. So if you can transfer in a striker or a goalscoring midfielder who happens to be going up against one of these defensively suspect teams then don’t hesitate. It’s not just that the attacking players are more likely to score (20 points) or get an assist (10 points.) It’s also that when a team dominates possession your player will make a lot more passes, bith attempted and completed, so you can rack up plenty of extras through your player seeing a lot of the ball. Here’s a quick rundown of who could be good value this weekend.

Wigan Athletic vs Chelsea
With Jose Mourinho fast becoming but a memory, Avram Grant’s Chelsea are scoring goals and looking good, while Chris Hutchings’ Wigan aren’t and aren’t. Didier Drogba has enjoyed regular back of the net action recently, and there’s no reason that can’t continue at the JJB. Titus Bramble may not be as bad as we previously suspected, but he’s still not a world beater so Drogba should fancy his chances. Similarly Frank Lampard (Jnr.) has picked up where he left off before that thigh tear to be heavily involved in Chelsea’s attack and could easily pop up with a goal form midfield or maybe even a couple of assists like last weekend.

Middlesbrough vs Tottenham Hotspur
Two teams that have been leakier than St Davids Day, but only one of them has changed managers. Middlesbrough are conceding goals at an alarming rate without scoring enough, while Spurs are finding the net but leaving the back door open. It may take Juande Ramos a while to get the Spurs defence ship shape, but don’t be surprised if he gets strikers like Dimitar Berbatov firing. Berbatov has bags of talent and a nice line in hairbands, but hasn’t had a happy start to the season, probably because his relationship with Martin Jol hit the skids. But a change is as good as a rest and Ramos’ arrival could be just what the Bulgarian needs. At £13m he’s an expensive gamble, but he could be about to hit a hot streak. Or not.

Everton vs Birmingham City
Birmingham had a great win against Wigan last weekend and a fine two goal performance from Olivier Kapo. But it was against Wigan. It’s time Everton’s season got rolling, and after a win against Derby last weekend they could expect another when Birmingham come to town. Yakubu finally got back to scoring last weekend, further proof that the bigger boys (and who’s bigger than the meall-loving Yak?) love to bully the weaklings. The Yak’s not exactly a sure thing, but I’d expect to see goals and/or assists from Mikel Arteta (who also score last week) in midfield. And goalscoring midfielder extraordinaire Tim Cahill is back. He made his return from injury against Derby last weekend and followed that up by scoring the winner against Luton in the Carling Cup yesterday. No SquadGod points for that, but an indication that Cahill is ready to start scoring in the Premiership again.

Aston Villa vs Derby County
Good old Derby County. Comprehensively thrashed by both Liverpool and Arsenal recently, they even let Everton’s formerly impotent Yak score all over them last weekend. So Villa’s underrated attackers should have a field day at Villa Park. Gabriel Agbonlahor not only has a brilliant name, he also has a nose for goal (4 in 10 so far this year.) Luke Moore was on the scoresheet last weekend with some improvised finishing (Agbonlahor’s cross just sort of hit him, but Moore smartly angled his body to steer the ball home) and while Ashley Young is yet to score he’s been putting in some eye catching performances.

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Category: English Premier League