You Can Live On Andriy Arshavin Road

Under normal circumstances, we’d deem this a place in the mind of the world’s oddest oddballs where Hunter S. Thompson is made to look the shining beacon of normalcy and water is always freshly, crisply clear. It’s either that or a padded cell.

But not in St. Petersburg. In Russia if you live on Andriy Arshavin Road, it may soon be that you live in Arshavinka, the sprawling estates named after the one, the only.

Andriy has yet to sign off on the estates, but given his recent financial troubles in London (financial troubles being making slightly less than the boffo he was expecting) he can just take the free gift they’re preparing for him and rent it out to Arshavin maniacs who can then pay his tax differences.

The village will consist of around 20 or 30 estates, each occupying an area of about a hectare.

The construction of a helipad is also on the drawing board.

The helipad is, obviously so that Roman Abramovich can swoop down and steal the neighborhood children for his various youth training facilities.

But better than living in Arshavinland, who wouldn’t want to live next to the real deal?

The Russian international himself will be granted a piece of land in the newly established elite settlement on the shores of Lake Otradnoye.

Can you imagine the neighborly chats? The folded arms, pouty lips and raspberries intermixed with the verbosity of Russia’s most precociously insane does more for the estate market value than any lake view could ever dream. In fact it makes this some genuine genius from the builders.

So once these go like hot cakes on a Siberian winter night, who’s up for scouting Jens Lehmann Boulevard? (As long as you don’t mind a neighbor who pees in your bushes.)

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Category: English Premier League