Expert: Your Favorite Premiership Player Might be distracted by Internet Porn

The next time your favorite football player has a poor match you can chalk it up to one thing: his addiction to Internet porn. According to Peter Kay, the president of a clinic that helps athletes with addictive illnesses, an increasing number of players are firing up their laptops and are doing more than playing Solitaire and Mindsweeper.

‘When you start going into a porn site it leads on to other porn sites and then maybe more risky material,’ Kay told BBC Radio Five Live. ‘It must be stressed that if a 21-year-old is scanning a bit of porn and accessing pleasure from it, doing that once then that is not unusual and nor is it a problem.

‘It becomes a problem when he is doing it 14, 15, 16 times and then when he stops, he is playing a football game and he is thinking `I can’t wait to get back to that site’.’

Kay didn’t say this, but we have checked in with the experts and they agree that there is nothing wrong with you checking in 14, 15, 16 times a day with The Offside. Nor is there anything wrong with thinking about this site while you are playing. Yes, we’re talking to you, Mr. Lampard and Mr. Gerrard.

Seriously, does anyone actually believe that there is an Internet porn epidemic in the Premiership? Let’s get back to the really serious issues, like probing the bungs.

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Category: English Premier League