Transfer Talk: Invasion of the Davids

By: Bob | January 12th, 2007

By my unofficial count, there have been 7,000,000,000 words written about David Beckham today so the transfer rumors and speculations that normally fill the papers and cyberspace have been put on hold while speculation about important topics like whether Posh will pose nude in Playboy are heating up. The pickings are a bit slim but here are some choice cuts from the football transfer world.

Will the Beckham move lead to an influx of immigrants the likes of which the United States hasn’t seen since the heyday of Ellis Island? The first aging superstar who is rumored to be pulling an Eddie Murphy and coming to America is Edgar Davids. The former Dutch international and Tottenham midfielder is reportedly in talks with Major League Soccer’s FC Dallas and in his spare time he might play in the NBA.

The talk of Ronaldo playing in the States is nothing new, but once again the Beckham move has renewed the scuttlebutt. The Real Madrid striker is apparently unwanted by Milan, the same side that Beckham apparently turned down. Ronaldo could instead end up playing for the New York Red Bulls. Would you pay to see him play at this stage in his career? I probably wouldn’t but I am cheap that way.

One player not looking to play in MLS is an American teenager named Gabriel Enzo Ferrari. The 18-year-old striker has signed with Sampdoria and he could be the first American to play in Serie A since Beckham’s new boss Alexi Lalas in the mid-90s. I’ve never heard of the guy but with a last name like that he damn well better be fast.

Bayern Munich would like to remind the world that they are a big club and therefore they have come out and said that Arjen Robben is someone they find interesting. I can’t speak about Mr. Robben’s personality but if he does go to Bayern and Owen Hargreaves goes to Chelsea then that would mean we would no longer have to hear about Hargreaves going to Manchester United and therefore Robben would be doing humanity a great service. If he kidnapped Beckham and we never heard about him too I would elect Robben king for life. Too bad this transfer isn’t going to happen and Hargreaves will be at Bayern until we are all just food for the dirt worms.

Midfielder Alan Thompson has completed his loan move from Celtic to Leeds. Counting on a 33-year-old who hasn’t played this campaign for your survival is not exactly the sign of a healthy club.

Burnley have signed Aston Villa midfielder Eric Djemba-Djemba on loan for the rest of the season. He’s so bad you’ll want to curse his name twice.

He was born in Brazil, he plays internationally for Japan and now he will earn a paycheck in Austria. Alessandro “Alex” Santos is the essence of globalization. He has signed on to play with Austrian leaders Salzburg on a one-year loan from Urawa Red Diamonds.

The Jens Nowotny era is over in Croatia after just six months. The German defender has been given the pink slip by Dinamo Zagreb after suffering an injury and failing to live up to expectations. Wait a second, are we talking about Jens or what my parents said about me last night?

Boca Juniors teenage defender Emiliano Insua will call Anfield home for the next 18 months now that is he is on loan to Liverpool. Rafael Benitez says he is “a good, young player with a lot of potential.” Just once I’d love for a manager to say, “I have no fucking clue who this guy is but I sure am hoping that he doesn’t suck.” Liverpool are also likely to sign another Argentine, Lanus midfielder Sebastian Leto, no relation to the actor Jared.

Call it patriotism or call it stupidity, Reading manager Steve Coppell is only interested in signing British-based players during the current transfer period. Guess that rules out a move for Owen Hargreaves.