Everyone knows you can’t find Quality Keepers on eBay

A brief lesson in the history of the Internet. Al Gore invented it. Then someone decided it would be a great place for people to exchange stuff collecting dust in their closets. Auction sites like eBay were born. Our lives were forever changed. Then more people starting using computers and some of them were creative. They decided it would be funny to sell things like the White House and David Beckham’s heart. We all laughed at their ingenuity and the traditional media had great fun with it.

Which brings us all the way forward to today. By now, everyone and everything has been auctioned on eBay. By now, eBay has had to remove everyone and everything items because everyone knows that no one can really buy George W. Bush’s soul. The oil companies already aren’t selling it.

The removed auction item of today is AC Milan keeper Dida. After watching the Brazilian give up a couple dodgy goals against Manchester United in the Champions League a fan dug deep into the 1999 Internet playbook and put Dida up for sale on eBay. And then the curmudgeons took it down, but not before there were 25 bids that had reached 71 euros ($96.66).

Let’s save us all the trouble of having to hear stories like this again. Let’s come up with a definitive list of rolling on the floor with laughter football items that should be sold on eBay. Jose Mourinho’s voicebox. Landon Donovan’s courage. An empty Tottenham trophy case. A sold out MLS stadium.

You can probably do better.

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Category: Serie A, World Football