As Your World Turns: The Soap Operas

By: chris | January 2nd, 2008

It happens every single transfer window. One of more potential transfers begin to turn into a soap opera, and it leaves the rest of the world hitting that “overexposure” button fervently. Alex Ferguson did his best last summer to avoid another Owen Hargreaves incident by waking up one morning, calling Portugal and poaching two big time talents before the rest of the world had time for toast & jam. But that’s far from the norm. There was the Wesley Sneijder to Real deal which had Madrid sending sorry notes to Ajax for handling themselves inappropriately (I hope that note is framed somewhere in their Amsterdam offices). Cristian Chivu decided Real Madrid wasn’t a big enough “train” for him to jump on, and spent the entire summer trying to screw over Roma so he could get an undeserved payday. There are more, and there will be more. These are some of the soap operas you’ll get to look forward to during the next month, and probably the next 8 for some.

Dimitar Berbatov (Tottenham)

I know he’s good, I know all the big clubs want him anyway, but how often do you see a player have a monster game and then start waxing poetic about his contract status and/or other clubs which “may” interest him? Anyway, having his agent saying it in the press probably wasn’t the right thing, but he’s looking at getting back to the Champions League when he’s 28-29 at the very best. Can’t imagine I’m the only person who doesn’t see Tottenham thieving one of those spots from the Big Four next year. Kinda hard to blame him for wanting to taste some European glory. (Or some Champions league anything.)

Rafael van der Vaart (HSV)

Maybe Hamburg will do us all a favor and send this guy somewhere else so he’ll shut the @#$% up already. Or not. They’ve reportedly offered him a 4m per annum deal so he can both stay AND shut the @#$% up. Progressive thinkers, those Hamburglers. Of course he’s still reciting love sonnets to Juventus in the medias. And just checking…….yup, Torino is still in Spain.

Ronaldinho (Barcelona)

He’s so ginormous the rumors are going to persist until he either gets sent somewhere or dies. Rumor has it his fling with Milan has turned serious and they no longer want to sneak around in the dark. Big Bucks Roman is still waiting with his pen angled ever so perfectly as to make the swiftest of strokes in his checkbook. Many, many strokes. This could be one of the greatest battles between former or current “politicians” in the history of sport (that is if you want to call Roman’s little Siberian tax haven “politics”).

* – And apparently no one has asked Gianfranco how he feels.

Amauri (Palermo)

This is more his doing than anything else. He’s just spouting off names of players he’d like to play with and the media is lapping it up like a starved canine. But he is good, and he can’t stay in Sicily forever, so he’ll be going elsewhere eventually. The only question is when and to whom. The Artist (Kinda) Formerly Known As G14 is holding a summit outside his door and they’ve all got their wheelbarrows full of money ready. Even better? Maurizio Zamparini, Palermo’s owner, makes Michael Jackson look like a completely sane, well-adjusted guy. Should be a beaut.

Luka Modric (Dinamo Zagreb)

The guy wanted by everybody who’s anybody recently decided to stick on with Dinamo Zagreb for another 18 months minimum after receiving a contract extension. Dinamo’s president said that he turned down nothing less than €50m. €50m! Either he’s lying through his teeth or this soap opera is far from over. I suspect both.

Didier Drogba (Chelsea)

The more Milan sucks in the league, the more Jose Mourinho will be linked to the job, and thus the more you’ll see “Milan & Drogba, sittin’ in a tree…” floating around the presses. This one is just waiting to blow up.

Rafa v The Damn Americans

So does Rafa get his way or will the Americans hold strong and refuse to send anymore cash towards Britain? This could be my favorite just for Rafa’s press conferences.

The next big name headed to the states

Luis Figo is the latest to supposedly be on his way, though we all know how good his word is (classy guy, that Figo), but there will surely be another big name headed stateside before January is up, right? And by big name I mean an over-the-hill former superstar looking for one last monster of a payday which isn’t in Qatar before he hangs up his cleats.

Anything involving the city of Milan

Silvio Berlusconi (and his cronie, Uncle Fester) has taken up residence as King Drama Queen on this list thus far, but his rival on the other side of town is just as bad. Massimo Moratti is allowed to speak to the presses far too often, instead of being relegated to his lounger in the basement like everyone else’s crazy grandfather, and has already contradicted himself 1,732 times since November. First he said there would be no more purchases. Then he said they might have to reconsider a bit because of an injury to Dejan Stankovic – despite having the deepest non-Italian roster in Europe. Finally, he’s decided they need to call in the cavalries and armored trucks full of loot for more Argies. Full scale spending spree on the way from Moratti. But of course they won’t be Italian. Of course not. Why should the champions of Italy have any Italians?