Ronaldo Vows to Score a Goal for Each Pound he is Overweight

By: Bob | September 22nd, 2006

We like to believe in that adage that with age comes wisdom mainly because we are getting older by the second and still feel like we don’t know a damn thing about this world. One thing we do know is that as he gets older, Real Madrid’s Ronaldo is not necessarily getting wiser and he is certainly isn’t getting any better on the pitch.

The Rotund One has come out with a public proclamation that he will score one goal this season for each of the 30 years he has been on the planet. Evidently this is part of his new weight loss program. Cut back on your carbs, drink plenty of water and score 30 goals in La Liga.

There’s only one problem with this: it ain’t going to happen.

Ronaldo finished with 14 goals for the Galaticos last season. He is coming off knee surgery and likely won’t feature until October. He is still overweight and his skills continue to decline. His new teammate, Ruud van Nistelrooy, is likely to poach some of the goals Ronaldo would have poached in the past.

We’d like nothing more than to see Ronaldo prove us wrong, but still think he should have wished for something more realistic for his birthday, like a pony or an extra piece of cake.

Some Related Stories:

Category: Spain La Liga

« The Message about Fair Play Day hasn’t Quite Been Heard | Home | The Old Firm »

The Offside RSS Feeds

aseano

well, i think klose could give ronaldo a run for his money for the most goals scored in the WC. and insearchoffootball, yes, there is politics when there is voting for best players in a tournament and all that but i would have to agree that zidane was the THE player in the recent WC, even after that headbutt. you know why? because even after all the problems the french had, the team still cohered when it mattered- and zidane was the heart of the team.

so who do you think should have won that WC player of the year?

but... i think that the italians were the better team in the final.
insearchoffootball

ok now its time to shut you all down ... firstly cairo, the only reason why ronaldo is world cup highest ever goal scorer is because he scored 9 in 2002 WC which was the worst WC ever and riged like nothing seen before, and by the second round most good teams were gone .. and dont tell me he deserved all thoes player of teh yr awards coz all that stuff is crap .. the fact that Zidane won WC player of the yr just highlighs how politically incorect thoes awards all are ... even pele when he was woted as player of the yr by fifa, the only reason why he won it was coz he was on the boared of directors .. so dont tell em all this rubbish ... if the public had to vote each yr for who is player of the yr and stuff the out comes would be much diffrent (just like when they had a world wide international vote for the greatest player ever and maradona won)!!!
pepe

ronaldo is over rated.
Euler

I think Ronaldo should retire. It can only get uglier from now on. Let's just not forget his career achievements:

Honors and awards

* FIFA World Player of the Year: 1996 (youngest winner), 1997, 2002
* European Footballer of the Year (Ballon d'Or): 1997, 2002
* UEFA Most Valuable Player - 1998
* BBC Sports Personality of the Year Overseas Personality: 2002
* GoldenFoot Award: 2006
* FIFA World Cup
o 2006 All-Time World Cup Goalscorer - 15 Goals
o 2006 Bronze Boot - Third Top Scorer 3 goals & 1 assist in 5 games
o 2002 Golden Boot - Top Scorer 8 goals
o 2002 Silver Ball - 2nd Best Player
o 2002 Winner
o 1998 Golden Ball - Best Player
o 1998 Silver Boot - Second Top Scorer 4 goals & 4 assist in 7 games
o 1998 Runner-up
o 1994 Winner
* Brazilian Cup: Cruzeiro 1993
* Dutch Cup: PSV Eindhoven 1996
* Cup Winners' Cup: FC Barcelona 1997
* Confederations Cup: 1997
* Copa América: 1997, 1999
* UEFA Cup: Internazionale 1998
* Intercontinental Cup: Real Madrid 2002
* European Super Cup: Real Madrid 2002
* La Liga - Primera División champions: Real Madrid 2002/2003
* Spanish Super Cup: FC Barcelona 1996, Real Madrid 2003

Ronaldo at Wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R...

Nistelrooy at Wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R...
cairo

rotund? please. since when did being ten pounds overweight mean being "fat". ronaldo was given the most thorough media bashing during the WC, more than any other player, and look what happened -- he left the WC as the top all-time goal scorer. sure he might be talking out of his ass a bit on the 30 goals, but at least he's optimistic.