The Rafael van der Vaart Saga/Sweepstakes Continues

By: chris | December 13th, 2007

Last summer you might remember RvdV celebrated his first season as HSV skipper by requesting a move to Spain; “I am determined to leave and Valencia would be a dream for me”, he said. Thenhe famously posed with a Valencia shirt while he was, yup, still under contract in the Bundesliga. Pure class, that. (That’s him to the left, and no, it isn’t photoshopped.)

RvdV’s mommy is Spanish, and thus his desires to move to La Liga were not exactly his, but those of his grandpappy, who lives in the old country, and would presumably like to see him up close before he passes on to a better venue. Makes sense. But that hasn’t stopped the lot of G14 hanging outside his dorm room like drunken, hormone enraged teenagers smelling a freshly single hot chick. And no, they didn’t get the memo that it’s “Spain or bust” for Rafael. We’re also still awaiting word on whether Liverpool has been officially recognized as Spanish territory yet, after the two Rafas were rubbing all up on each other a couple summers ago.

A quick look at some of Rafael’s suitors reads: Chelsea, Tottenham, Inter, Juventus, Milan, Arsenal, Newcastle United, Real Madrid and Valencia. What I like to call the G14 lottery (plus Spurs & Newcastle). Not to mention some Spanish clubs which are having illicit daydreams of Rafael riding down the beach on a white horse in slo-mo wearing nothing but their official knickers to make grandpa proud.

Well, the newest to pop up on the radar are Juventus and Milan, who are also now in Spain through the magical wonderment of a new understanding of the word “in” (Juve & Milan get to say they’re “in” Spain and Rafael gets wheelbarrows full of lira). It should be said Rafael hasn’t commented on any such deal, but you can see where this is heading. Three weeks ago he had meetings with Hamburg’s hierarchy to discuss a contract extension (Hamburg also being in Spain), which actually kinda sorta went well:

“There is a chance that I will stay in Hamburg,” the daily quoted the Dutch international midfielder and Hamburg captain van der Vaart as saying after a meeting with sports director Dietmar Beiersdorfer. “It was a very very good meeting. Now I must decide very carefully what I will do in the future.”

Under speculation that:

Hamburg have likely offered van der Vaart a big pay-rise from his current salary estimated at 2 million euros (2.97 million dollars).

Didn’t see that coming whatsoever. So basically Rafael went on summer vacation away from his German girlfriend, started flirting with the Spanish chick back home, maybe felt her up a little, then flaunted it by posting pics on the internet for his girlfriend to see. When he got back from vaca his girlfriend decides to offer him all sorts of favors and perks, and in return all he’s gotta do is stick around when he was entirely at fault and in the wrong. So either Rafael’s a pimp, or this German chick has some serious self-esteem issues. I think a little bit of both.

Regardless, there will be more clubs to throw their hats into the ring, Spanish or otherwise, but as far as I’m concerned there is only one place for Rafael: Internazionale. No, it isn’t in Spain, but they only speak Spanish in their Argentine locker room so we’re halfway there. The prime reason being the reunion with his old Ajax buddy and BFF Zlatan. During a game between the Netherlands and Sweden a few years ago, Zlatan accidentally-on-purpose kicked out while RvdV was in the vicinity and subsequently injured him. Oops. This caused a huge blowup at the club and Zlatan was sold a week later. While Zlatan was still at the club during that week, he scored one of the greatest goals of all time by running through the entire NAC Breda defense, which was followed by the cameras giving a shot of an injured Rafael up in the press box looking like someone just ran over his dog. These two need to be brought back together again. It’s destiny.

The Goal/The Reaction