When Beautiful People Swap Shirts

By: Laurie | April 7th, 2008

Ever wonder what leads up to a photo like this one? How it came to be that the most beautiful players on the teams end up swapping shirts with each other?

Of course you have. Admit it.

Once again, we at The Offside have the answers. Here’s how it went down after the first leg of the Roma-Manchester United Champions League quarterfinal:

Ronaldo: I have played a magnificent game. My header? Amazing. Truly. I continue to shock myself with my skill. And now all that remains is the most important decision of the match: Who is worthy of my shirt?

Mexès: And now eet eez time for zee shirt swap. I must move with caution. Not everyone is beautiful enough to wear zee Shirt of Mexès.

Ronaldo: He must be beautiful. But, of course, not more beautiful than me. Were that possible.

Mexès: He must be lovely, with great hair. But not as good as mine.

Ronaldo: He must be fit, and strong. A worthy adversary. Who is also very pretty.

Mexès: He must be… Uh-oh. It is Ferdinand. Must not make eye contact.

Ronaldo: Ah! Yes! Now I see! It is Philippe! He is the one!

Mexès: Whew! He is gone. A close call. And now…. I have got it! Of course! It was the only answer! Cristiano!

Ronaldo: Philippe!

Mexès: Cristiano!

Ronaldo: You are worthy to share the DNA that I have sweated out against your team!

Mexès: As are you! Such beautiful sweat!

Ronaldo: If only they could combine DNA from sweat in these jerseys and clone it to create a single being!

Mexès: Ah! That would be…magnifique! So much skill!

Ronaldo: So much pretty!

Both: But of course not prettier than me.

Mexès: Thank you, Cristiano, for this lovely, sweaty shirt. But… [Takes shirt. Inhales deeply.] Wait. No.

Ronaldo: What?

Mexès: No, it cannot be. Cristiano, eet eez not possible! Eet cannot be!

Cristiano: What, Philippe? What about my wonderful shirt could possibly be upsetting you?

Mexès: Oh, Cristiano… Tell me it is not… Cristiano, please tell me I do not smell “Intimately Beckham.”

Ronaldo: Erm…but… It was gift! He makes me wear it! He… Wait! Philippe! Where are you going? You can’t take your shirt back! We already swapped! Come back! Philippe!!!

And that’s the way it really happened. We swear.

(Thanks to my favorite guilty pleasure Kickette for the photo find.)

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Category: Champions League, Europe

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Todd

This was not funny.
Lenses

This is wonderful! You made me laugh :-D
My favorite part was the Rio Ferdinand part LOL
glatisant

Ronaldo: Erm…but… It was gift! He makes me wear it!

I think this was my favourite line (aside from Mexès' panic at the approach of Rio Ferdinand). The leftout article totally makes it. :D

They were ridiculously adorable for national team captains in their mid-30s, weren’t they? I’m hoping for a repeat of the foolishness after el clasico in May.
I'd settle for a better match and a better audience. The pretty could come after that.
old apple

lol
mctalian

You forgot to mention that Ronaldo is slipping him a key to his hotel room and Mexes is just realizing what this is all about is trying to pull away without making it to awkward
CR7 = Fan of eye-brow plucking.
Brian

Brilliant. I haven't seen the video, but I'd like to think they held that manly hand-clasp/eye-lock just a split-second too long, then each went out and slept with 934 hookers.
Chris

Laurie, welcome back. Your writing was sorely missed and you can't be replaced.
Hana

Hahaha. This is CLEARLY the way things went down. Duh. (Laurie, just how much time did you spend on this?)

Oh Mexes, you gorgeous person you. Lower back tattoo and all.
Louise

It was that ugly draw at the San Siro for Euro 2008 qualification. I think I used to have video of it, I'll check for you later, but I have tons a pics. They were ridiculously adorable for national team captains in their mid-30s, weren't they? I'm hoping for a repeat of the foolishness after el clasico in May.

And it gives us Lesson #2: After you've chosen the beautiful person to exchange with, don't try to take your shirt back, even for charity. Chasing about and wrestling may ensue.
Laurie

Nolan, that he does.
Laurie

Oh, Louise. That's last September's Italy-France friendly, isn't it? I have looked everywhere for the video of this particular moment. It was so sweet -- the only thing worth watching in the whole game.
Nolan

Does Mexes have a lower back tattoo?
Louise

A perfect explanation! What intrepid reporting, Laurie.

And a really important topic, because truly it is in the shirt exchange that we put aside bitter rivalries for what is really important: the pretty.
Bonnie

Oh Laurie, way to come back with a vengeance.
Rob

I must admit, this made me laugh
John P.

Nice trampstamp on Mexes.