5 Things to Keep You Occupied if MLS Strikes

A tiny bit of good news on the MLS front: apparently the vote on Thursday wasn’t an actual vote to strike. It was more like…a vote to vote on a strike. More like being engaged to be engaged than actually being betrothed.

In other words, This vote was maybe a little more like twelve-year-olds with the tiny zircon-chip ring, instead of the actual “Tom Shane says two months salary is a good guideline” engagement.

(If you’re not from the US and don’t know who Tom Shane is? Consider yourself blessed.)

Even with this definition of the vote, though, I’d rate the chances that the season will start on March 25 and end with the MLS Cup at maybe 50-50. What this means is that MLS fans are going to have to prepare themselves for up to a year without MLS. This means it’s time to start planning now on how to fill your time. Here are a few possibilities:

1. Play CBA Bingo! Should a strike occur, the writers and bloggers who cover MLS will have nothing to write about. This means we’re going to see a whole lot of regurgitation of the same stuff. Use this site to create your own Bingo game.

1a. Alternative: Use these words to create your own drinking game.

(I would not recommend this option if you value your liver.)

2. Do Google Image Searches for players and try to decide which ones are the real deal.

What do you think? Landon Donovan — yes or no? And if yes, what the HELL was he thinking? (I have cropped the photo for sensitive viewers. Because the original is scary.)

And I’ll give this one away, since it’s obvious: this is Kasey Keller’s and his mullet. (Seriously, Kasey? How does one explain that to one’s kids?)

3. Create entertaining stories about your favorite (or least-favorite) players and use them to update their Wikipedia pages. Then see how long it takes for them to get deleted. Compete with your friends.

Sample:

David Beckham has admitted that his powers stem from having his right foot abducted by aliens. They tried to get the rest of him, too, but he had all the credit cards in his pocket at the time, so Posh would not let him go beyond hip level.

4. Switch drugs. Follow clubs in other parts of the world.

Granted, supporting a team 5,000 miles away isn’t like swilling beer at your local stadium while screaming, “Shoot! SHOOT!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, SHOOT THE @#%^&* BALL!!!” (Or maybe that’s only Seattle fans.)

But the game is being played year-round somewhere. Added bonus: following the game in places like Europe gives you an excuse to visit your local pub at 11:00 in the morning. And since stadium pubs will be hurting in case of a strike, this is win-win.

Careful, though. Once you’ve had crack La Liga, you may never go back.

5. Follow baseball. Or groom your nose hairs. Both are equally exciting.

Some Related Stories:

• Top 10 MLS Salaries (Plus Top 10 Non-DP Salaries)
• MLS All-Star XI Named
• CAPTION THIS: There Is No Choking In Football!!!
• What’s the Right Size for an MLS Stadium?
• MLS All-Stars vs Man Utd – What to Look Out For

Category: MLS, World Football

Tags: CBA, CBA Bingo, David Beckham, Kasey Keller, Landon Donovan, MLS, MLS strike, MLS strike vote, Strike Bingo, What to do if there's a strike, World Football

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