Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Bigger.

By: chris | August 25th, 2009

The constant oneupsmanship off the pitch between El Clasico lovers Real Madrid and Barcelona might be as entertaining, if not more, than anything the two do on the pitch – even when unintentional. Be it in the press, the transfer market (Would Zlatan have landed in Barcelona had Florentino Perez not returned to Madrid? Maybe not.), their “side ventures” or whatever, it’s bound to tickle the soul of those with little rooting interest.

Sid Lowe of The Guardian wrote a great article about this last year, sourced here numerous times, after Sporting Gijon fell victim to the giants’ mutual penis envy. Barcelona thumped Sporting 6-1 to restart their historic campaign, which rustled the feathers of a many few in the capital. And while Bernd Schuster probably didn’t command his stallions to take home a 7-1 victory the next weekend against that same, albeit slightly less, Sporting, they did so anyway. Hardly intentional, but a glittering example of the pathological oneupsmanship between the Spanish duo.

This weekend, as you may have heard, Barcelona beat Athletic Bilbao for the Spanish Super Cup, once again subjecting the Basque side to a competition they had no prayer of winning, and taking their run of quasi-meaningful trophies to four. Real Madrid also played in a tournament, the appropriately named Trofeo Santiago Bernabeu, a tournament in which clubs travel long distances to the footballing mecca and kneel before the great white silverware presentation, and won a trophy. It meant nothing.

Though these tournaments combined had little significance, their celebrations did. You see, Barcelona won on Sunday, while Real Madrid did the same in their cup tournament on Monday, predictably (Real Union > Rosenborg). And the story is in the trophy. Upon combing through some Spanish reputables, one thing became abundantly clear: this rivalry knows no bounds.

The Barcelona captain holding the trophy aloft Sunday:

Real Madrid captain Raul hoisting the synthetic Santiago Bernabeu silverware, presented on Monday, with necessary assistance:

As though if by design, should los blancos, gasp!, not take home the trophy one year while it ends in the cabinet of most despised Barca, Real Madrid will always have one thing: mine is bigger.

Tell me that in 1982, when the Trofeo Santiago Bernabeu was concocted, that this wasn’t the intent all along. Tell me a thousand times over and I still won’t believe you.