Bayern & Those Magic Words: Free Beer.

By: chris | August 27th, 2009

Free beer is probably an easy way to make the German masses happy (or forgetful – six of one, half a dozen of the other). Bayern would like to make their fans happy. However, beer can also make depressed people more depressed if things don’t get better. Bayern fans are largely depressed right now, and they have pens. Beer can also inspire people to throw stuff. (Presumably those pens which were used to jot up that itemized list detailing why Bayern sucks right now.)

So the fact that Bayern are handing out 7,000 liters of booze before they entertain defending champions Wolfsburg on the weekend might be genius. Or it might be one of the worst ideas in the history of ideas.

If you’re not paying attention to your Bundesligas right now (shame), Bayern’s three week start can be summed up as this: what’s Jurgen Klinsmann up to these days?

Two draws and a slightly humiliating loss to newbies Mainz adds up to their worst start in 43 years. For their troubles they’ll be rewarded with a visit by defending champs Wolfsburg. They’re a good football team.

* – Despite Bayern fans laying out their thoughts in black and white volumes, we have another theory as to why Bayern is busy being not good this year: look at the righthand man giving Louis van Gaal all his tactical advice.

This means, should matters not take a quick upturn, Bayern will have lots and lots of fans who will partake in adult beverage consumption before the game, and likely continue throughout. Bad football + free beer + pissed off fans = …the possibilities are, to say the least, frightening.

And thus is it a masterstroke of motivation from the Bayern bigwigs? Let’s hope so.

Now while we’re on the subject of Bayern, does anyone care to venture a guess as to what’s going on with Franck Ribery’s underpantaloons?