Bernd Schuster Loves Married Men

Yes, that headline is wildly misleading. I’m sorry if you were imagining all sorts of shocking things going on at the Bernabéu — I mean, they could well be going on, but there’s no touching whatsoever in this particular story. All that’s happened here is that, at a recent seminar, Real Mardid boss Bernd Schuster informed listeners that, when shopping for new players, he much prefers the married variety because, in his words, “These types of players are more stable.”

The best thing about the Reuters report on Schuster’s beliefs, though, is less his transfer predilections, than it is their application of the gaffer’s theory to his own career. It turns out that he was married at the ripe old age of 20 but, instead of finding stability, he turned into a headstrong, pain in the ass who “managed to fall out with practically every club he ever played for.” So much for that theory, huh? A bonus of married life for Schuster, though, is that his wife is reportedly a brutal negotiator, who struck fear into every club with which she negotiated on his behalf. Hmm. Maybe she’s the one who came up with this “only the married ones” theory.

So, does this mean Riccardo Quaresma is going to turn up married six weeks from now, just to increases the chances of that dream move? Will Lyon’s young starlets all of a sudden be taking wives? Hey, the kids gotta show their passion for the club, right? Whatever it takes.

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Category: Spain La Liga, World Football

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