Blatter Wants Materazzi to Kiss Zidane, but not Zizou’s SisterBy: Bob | September 11th, 2006
Instead of letting the head butt that just keeps giving die, FIFA honcho and resident jackass Sepp Blatter today proclaimed that the world’s football governing body is determined to bring together Marco Materazzi and Zinedine Zidane for what you know would be a carefully orchestrated kiss and make up session.
Blatter, whose head is full of hamsters spinning wheels, even has the perfect location picked out for a Materazzi and Zidane lovefest.
“We are working on bringing together Materazzi and Zidane,” Blatter said. “There are different possibilities and one of them is Robben Island in South Africa where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years.”
What a brilliant idea. After all, a silly incident that occurred during a football match is in roughly the same league as, say, apartheid, and this will give FIFA the perfect opportunity to promote the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.
If that doesn’t work, Blatter could go the biblical route. He could have Materazzi and Zidane climb Mount Sinai together where they could read the Ten Commandments and preach peace and harmony.
Or better yet, he could just put a final end to this whole thing by letting it die a slow death.