Bobo Vieri Retires The Only Way Possible: In Court.

One cannot avoid fate, for she is a persistent lass. Bobo Vieri has certainly never tempted fate, as he’s followed his masterplan by stumbling into the fronts of topless models time and time again. Football? Merely the means by which he was to achieve his night crawling destiny.

And so he retired the only way a hard-partying playboy could: in court.

There were a few spots of interest this summer, but nothing materialized. The trial with Blackburn fell apart for whatever reason (presumably they saw him play) and his foray into a dual adult film-Brazilin footballing career was left flapping in the wind.

Now, it’s all over for Bobo.

“I don’t want to play anymore and I’m not even tempted to play abroad,” the 36-year-old told reporters at a court case where he has accused former club Inter Milan of spying on him when he was player there at the start of the decade.

Could anything else have been so appropriately poetic?

“All over” is a misleading term, actually. It’s been all over for Bobo for some time – back when he was playing for Fiorentina, even. But this is his official announcement that he no longer has to deal with that pesky football thing in his quest to bed every sub-30 woman in the world twice over. Including that much discussed but mysterious transsexual rodeo clown.

As for that actual football career, it was pretty good, but might have earned Bobo the slightly ignominious title of the great journeyman. Fourteen stints with twelve clubs means he so nearly achieved his goal of playing for every topflight club in Italy but fell tragically short.

As with yesterday, football is losing another figure. This one is just a bit more of a character.

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Category: World Football