Calum Davenport In The Jerry Springer Show

For our overseas brethren who don’t know of Jerry Springer Show glory, have a peak at this joyous little clip.

When Calum Davenport was stabbed in both legs in August, it was a potentially tragic crime committed against an athlete whose career was then put into jeopardy. Coupled with the constant involuntary open houses of Merseyside, the safety of athletes became an incredible worry.

Then the details started leaking, curious details, with the hammer coming down today: Calum Davenport, of all people, has been charged with assault in the incident.

It was revealed shortly after the suspect was arrested that the assailant in question wasn’t just a random thief looking to add West Ham to the list of clubs on his Premiership route. The assailant was actually the baby daddy of Calum’s sister. This went over particularly well when he was in court to deal with the stabbing charges and she was seen pregnant, supposedly telling him three word phrases and the like. Despite that whole stabbing her brother and mother thing. (She’s a real prize, it would appear: her first baby daddy is doing life for armed robbery, or so say a certain disreputable newsie.)

Of course the first incident that something was wrong came in the form of Calum’s sister, Cara, in court with a black eye. Considering her man just stabbed somebody (allegedly), one might’ve made an assumption or two. It would appear those assumptions would’ve been poor, what with the charges of being assault levied against Calum today putting a clear one plus one scenario into play: Calum Davenport has (reportedly) been charged with assault against his sister.

Calum is, of course, denying the accusations, but the possibilities are rife. Did Calum hit his sister and her baby daddy then defend his lass with leg stabbings? Was she merely caught by an errant blow in a wild skirmish and is now trying to protect her man? Or was Calum’s football career going down the toilet and this a preview of a play he wants produced?

What’s sure is that not even Jerry Springer’s script writers could concoct something this delicious.

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Category: World Football