Castrol Unleash Rankings Which Provide Ammo Against Rankings.

By: chris | October 29th, 2009

CORRECTION Spain Soccer Real Madrid Ronaldo

Nothing wrong with this picture whatsoever.

It’s a novel idea – compile a ranking which will help determine the world’s best player. Castrol did it for the Confederations Cup and now they’re unleashing for all of world football. Well, by “world football” they mean “Europe’s top 5 leagues” – Spain, England, Italy, Germany and France.

And really, it has the potential to be a fantastic idea which could put the Ballon d’Or bickering to rest. So who do you think won it? Messi or Ronaldo? Think again. First impressions are most important, and this first impression was a drunken face plant into the punch bowl.

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You needn’t adjust your screen: that’s Thierry Henry up at the top. Now, Titi is a fine player, still world class, and one worthy of any side in the land. But his prime is somewhere back there and he’s not even the second best player on his own attacking line, much less in the world.

Still, Cristiano tells us it’s legit, therefore it must be:

“The Castrol Rankings is the ranking that every player wants to top. If you can be number one on the Castrol Rankings there can be no arguments, as it is based on fact, not opinion. That’s why I’m aiming for the number one spot to prove I’m the best!”

You’ll also notice not one, not two, but three Barcelona centerbacks on the list. Again, fine players the lot, but is Rafa Marquez really the 7th best player in the world? Nyet. Luca Toni also says hello from the Bayern reserves.

The full list is just as good, with Christian Abbiati and Roberto Soldado making cameos in the Top 20.

Now, this is a ranking with an affiliated acronym, and which affiliated acronym would you typically associate with slightly disreputable rankings? FIFA, of course. Proving once again, FIFA is rubbish and statistics can be manipulated to say anything.