Champions League Qualifying: No Room For Cinderella.

By: chris | August 19th, 2009

What is the official name of this new round anyway? Fourth round? “Playoff bracket”? How about “the mere formality”, because that’s what it turned out to be yesterday. While all were hoping for a big upset and a Champions League Cinderella, the big clubs went quietly about taking care of business, disposing of the riff raff before the the second leg.

And in keeping with the concept that surprises and upsets are lame, the two games featuring comparable teams played out as such. Clearly we need to get to the group stages ASAP.

Timisoara 0 – Stuttgart 2

They are Cinderellas no longer. Timisoara, despite their shock upset of UEFA Cup champions Shakhhtar in the previous round, were no match for the supremely underrated Stuttgart even in the coziest of Romanian confines. But this should come as little surprise.

What should also come as little surprise is that sitting on the Barcelona pine for a year enabled Mr. Hleb to learn a thing or two from that Mr. Messi cat, and he put it to good use in Romania yesterday.

Alex would like to remind you that he’s half-decent at football.

Celtic 0 – Arsenal 2

One of these years, Arsenal is going to magically grow up. One of these years might just be this year.

Of course while everyone is slobbering all over the Gunners, it’s worth noting their two goals in a 2-0 victory were via a deflection and an own goal – a far cry from the 6-1 thumping of Everton on the weekend. So it’s probably a bit too early to make any grandiose proclamations especially as, with all due respect to Celtic, Arsenal was clearly the superior team going into Celtic Park.

But one of these years…..

FC Sheriff 0 – Olympiacos 2

This was on in the background at The Offside Global Headquarters yesterday, but no one was paying a great deal of attention. A few things did slip in, however, such as how non-Moldovan the Moldovans are, how many chances the Moldovans had compared to the victors, and how brilliant a player Masal Bugduv will be one day.

Alas, for those looking to see a Moldovan side in the Champions League, it’ll probably take a few years yet. For as it goes in football, superior quality nearly always reigns supreme.

FC Kobenhavn 1 – APOEL 0

Last year Cyprus proved they’re no longer European pushovers, and the game played out as such, with a stumbling Danish side taking a 1-0 victory at home.

This is the part where one yawns and moves quickly onto the next fixture.

Sporting 2 – Fiorentina 2

Aside from his spectacular hair and penchant for clubs far below his standards of quality wanting his services, Miguel Veloso’s left peg is fabuloso. And Sporting needed it, too, as the stupidity of Simon Vukcevic dug his squad a shirtless hole. Down to ten men after The Vukcevic Incident, Veloso unleashed a drive which was so unreachable, Sebastian Frey decided diving was pointless and that he’d best not mess up his bleached blondes for the postgame coif-off with Sir Veloso.

Fiorentina were also good, with Gilardino scoring a very Gilardino-esque goal, but they get the reward of going home with two invaluable away goals rather than being discussed.

[Videos graciously provided by 101 Great Goals]

A number of games taking place today as well, so keep up to date at either the Champions League Offside or uefa\.