Coaching 101: Don’t Order your Team off the Pitch

By: Bob | April 20th, 2007

You are the coach of a team in Bosnia. Your team is in third place in the league, just six points from the leaders. You are losing 3-2 with eight minutes left in a critical game. You need to figure out a way to at least salvage a point, but that damn referee keeps screwing your side over and over and over again. You think to yourself, now would be an opportune time to teach the bastard a lesson.

You order your team off the pitch and smugly make your way back to the dressing room. Forget the point, forget the league race, you have done your job as a coach. You have proven your point. Too bad your actions do not go unnoticed. Your team could be deducted up to six points, you could be suspended for up to two years, and despite your cool name you, Blaz Sliskovic, are The Offside’s Unofficial Runner-Up Dumbass of the Week. First prize goes to the soccer mom, of course.

There is some unexciting video to go along with the story. And you thought the MLS crowd was sparse on Thursday night.

Meanwhile, if you think Sliskovic is unpopular in Bosnia, consider the plight of Hristo Stoitchkov. The dude can’t even get an invite to his parents’ funeral, which probably will be the event of the year in the village when it happens. It must be tough going through life with the name Stoitchko Stoitchkov.

Completely unrelated but worth posting before I just about sign off for the week, I stumbled upon a video of Messi being Messidona when he was a little lad. My favorite part is seeing that all the kids have the exact same jumbled mop of hair. His little goal celebration is kind of cute too. I think he is still the same size today.