David Beckham, Psychologist to the Stars

Sure being a star has its benefits. You have gobs of money to spend on things like designer food bowls for your dogs. You can go shopping at Supermodels-R-Us to find a significant other. You can jet around the globe without a care in the world. The only problem is that you have to hang out with other celebrities and those other celebrities tend to be the most fucked up people on this planet.

David Beckham will find this out firsthand when he leaves the soap opera that is Real Madrid and heads to the Hills of the crazies called Beverly. He’ll be invited to some killer parties at some killer houses and become friends with people who are more famous and richer than he is. And then he’ll get a call at 4am when the famous and rich people who will be hyped up on mind altering substances and in need of help.

At least that is how I picture his friendship with the singer Robbie Williams, who checked into a rehab clinic earlier in the month and who has turned to Beckham for advice.

The singer – who has admitted to suffering with depression and alcohol problems in the past – is also said to be battling insomnia and taking strong sleeping pills.

Reports claimed Robbie needs 36 super-strength double espresso coffees, 20 cans of Red Bull and 60 cigarettes to get through the day.

Good God. If I ingested that much caffeine even once I would be awake until 2057. Instead of sleeping pills or exercise, Williams should consider listening to Mrs. Beckham speak. Always kills my buzz right away.

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Category: MLS, World Football