English Football Fans Can Now Prove who is the Biggest Wanker

Attention English football fans. There might be a new pre-game ritual in store for you in the very immediate future. After you have a couple of pints at the local pub and before you enter the stadium to support your local club, you’ll be offered the chance to rub one out at a mobile sperm donor station outside the stadium.

In an effort to address Britain’s slump in spunk donations – a fact that has led the country to have to import sperm from inferior genetic countries like Spain and the United States (Americans are knocking up British ladies, it’s like WWII all over again) – fertility clinics are considering opening up shop outside Premiership stadiums.

Pip Morris, a spokewoman for the National Gamete Donation Trust, a Government-funded body that helps recruits donors, said: “There have never been enough donors and we would certainly back any clinic which wants to recruit at places such as football grounds.

“There are donors out there but it is question of logistics and that brings us back to mobile units, which can be driven to the grounds and allow fans to donate before the match.”

What a male bonding experience. Before you stand up for Arsenal, get one up for future generations! Donate sperm and than cheer on the boys. If you need any help in the inspiration department, you could always ask to borrow your favorite player’s laptop.

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Category: World Football