Europe’s 10 Most Overpriced Transfers; Or: Prem Transfer Roundup – Revisited.

By: chris | June 4th, 2009

Yesterday we assessed our predicted transfer bargains from September (with mixed results), and today it’s time to look back at our perceived overpriced transfers. A list which began looking a little Prem heavy.

The results? We knew it, you knew it, everyone knew it – except the Prem. They have a tendency to overpay and it rarely proved decent value in the end.

Robinho, Man City (£32.5m): I guess you could call this a drop in the bucket for his new owners, but still, is Robinho worth 40m? To paraphrase Peter Kenyon: Fuck no. He’s good, but he is certainly not as great as this week’s coverage makes him appear to be, and he’s certainly not worthy of being the highest paid footballer in the world. Not that this will matter in January when Man City buys United out and makes it their reserve team. (Kidding…..but they can.)

Verdict: Scored some goals, but Man City paid a record sum for half a player and a guy who would make more of a difference in the tabloids and on the Manchester transport scene than the Prem final table. Pass.

Marouane Fellaini, Everton (£15m): Let this be a lesson to all ye prospective sporting directors out there: don’t wait until the very last minute to try and make a huge buy unless you’ve just been bought out by guys who bath in crude oil – and especially don’t do it after the kid’s had a good int’l tournament. Nothing inflates prices unnecessarily like organized tournaments.

Verdict: Still believe he could’ve been had cheaper with better timing, but the afro is worth every penny and then some. Mostly because it distracts from the unibrow. Fail.

Robbie Keane, Liverpool (£20.3m): Robbie Keane’s a good player. £20m good? Nay.

Verdict: We were right, he’s not worth £20m. He’s worth £16m. Maybe. Pass.

Dani Alves, Barca (€30m): Dani Alves is, without question, a great player. No debating that. Hard not to love watch him play as well. However, fullbacks aren’t usually a gamechanging force. €30m is a lot of scratch and the right talent evaluators could buy a very competitive team for that much dough. Good purchase, but still, that’s a lot of money for a guy whose impact on the whole may not match up.

Verdict: Say Roman was to open up that checkbook for Dani. Where would it start – €50m? As brilliant as Barca were in Rome, could you fathom what they’d have been like with Dani Alves able to attack down the right instead of Carles The Lunatic? It’s just not right. Fail.

Peter Crouch, Portsmouth (£11m): There are things in Peter Crouch’s life worth paying £11m for. Abigail Clancy is one. Peter Crouch is not.

Verdict: £1m per league goal. Tell us you didn’t see that coming. Pass.

Posthumous Gareth Barry, Liverpool (£18m): If he was Norwegian, Rafa could’ve had him for €6m and a bag of pistachios. That’s all I’m saying.

Verdict: Mmm…pistachios. Push.

David Bentley, Tottenham (£15m): Daryl explained it awhile back here.

Verdict: Was his entire fee worth that silly, silly goal at the Emirates? It might’ve been for Spurs fans. But he was never worth £15m and likely never will. Then again, everyone but Tottenham knew that – though they certainly do now. Pass.

Paul Robinson, Blackburn (£3.5m): Coming as a complete shock to no one, 3 weeks in Blackburn have conceded the most goals in the Premier League at 7. During those games Paul Robinson has saved 5. That’s not a particularly good ratio…

Verdict: Third-highest goals against in the league and Blackburn fans still have to look forward to next season with Roboslob in net. Pass.

Philippe Senderos, Milan (Loan): Because they’re paying him a wage every week and because it devalues Maldini and Nesta to have to play alongside him – especially if it’s Maldini’s final season. It’s like if Baresi spent his final year playing alongside Titus Bramble.

Verdict: Fairly decent by most accounts and he was actually needed with Alessandro Nesta’s ageing bones making his season debut on….Sunday (honestly). So we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Fail.

Ricardo Quaresma, Inter (€18.6m + Pele): This one’s not so much about the money or talent as it is about Pele – a bona fide rising star – and the fact that Quaresma is a bit, uh, lazy. Greg from the Portugal Offside summed it up nicely:

Given Quaresma’s past failure at Barcelona, I’m surprised Porto were able to hold Inter up for that type of payment and the level of player that Pelé is. While I love Quaresma’s ability and think he has the skill set to be all world, he seems to take whole matches off at a time. He’s shown that he can track back and defend his position somewhat, but those instances are few and far between.

Plus he’s got that whole incessant whining thing going on, which won’t endear him to anyone in Serie A and really helps fill out that Cristiano Ronaldo Lite comparison. If he matures, it’s a good buy, but he’s soon to be 25 and he should be there mentally by now.

Verdict: Let’s see: he played for two teams, he flopped at both and now, at 25, looks like he’ll be co-owned by his fourth club (Genoa) in the last calendar year. Super flop of the decade and proof positive that looking stellar on YouTube means zilch on the pitch.

There were a couple non-Prem honorable mentions, however:

Danny Alves, Zenit St. Petersburg (€30m): Simply haven’t seen enough of him to make a sound judgment.

Miralem Sulejmani, Ajax (€16.5m): €16.5m seems like a ton, but he was incredibly impressive at times last year for Heerenveen at only 18. Could be a bit much right now, but might turn out to be a sound buy in a few years.

Danny Alves (the other one): His knee ligaments currently look like the props department for a B-list horror movie.

Miralem Sulejmani: He was not good. Period.

Overall Verdict: A big move does not a smart move make – financial efficiency is king.

(And don’t buy British.)