Frank & Jose’s Special Shower Moment
By: chris | February 23rd, 2009
Rumor has it Jose Mourinho’s management, now and with Chelsea, is a little “hands on”. Lots of man management and all that good intimate stuff. So intimate he likes whispering sweet nothings into the ears of his players while they’re man managing their testes – or so says Frank Lampard, who was had at “hello”.
Quote of the year candidate #3,729:
‘His man management was just terrific,’ said Lampard. ‘He knew how to get into people’s heads. He got into mine the moment he came. He has that air of arrogance, that confidence, and it rubs off.
‘I have never had a manager who, while I’m standing in the shower cleaning my balls, tells me I’m the best player in the world. He did that. I’ll never forget it. So casual. “You’re the best player in the world, but you need to win titles”.
‘From that moment the extra confidence was in me. Not that I thought I was the best player in the world, but the manager who had just won the Champions League thought it. So I went out a different player.
I am completely stumped. No idea what to say here. So many scenarios running around in my head.
Does Jose walk into the shower, trenchcoat and all, casually sit down and start talking to his players while they wash their man parts? Why does Frank specifically remember he was cleaning his balls at the time? Could it have been his upper thigh? His chest, even? Is most of this even legal? How does he feel about Ibra now? Does he realize Jose’s just a manwhore, insincerely telling the girl whatever she wants to hear to get into bed? How much extra confidence was “in” Frank, precisely? Why does Frank feel the need to continue on with the innuendo? We got it the first time.
That is just a sampling of questions I don’t need answered.
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Tags: balls, English Premier League, Frank Lampard, Jose Mourinho, man management, shower, World FootballSubscribe
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Comments
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Fat frank touches himself while thinking of his iberian gaffer.
Posted from
United States
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frank is not very smart but atleast his marbles are clean!
Posted from
United States -
“Trenchcoat and all”
Mental image of the day!
Posted from
United States -
You can’t forget about the scarf with the trench coat! That’s a crucial piece of the outfit too…
So many sexual jokes can be made out of that short piece…wow.
I don’t think I’m old enough to read that…
Posted from
United States -
They are both consenting adults, what is the problem?
Posted from
United States -
I just pictured Jose walking into the showers behind Fat Frank, putting his hands on Frank’s waste and whispering ‘you’re the best player in the world’ into his ear.
Funny story…
Posted from
United States -
hes truly one of the greats…
right up there with hiddink and del bosque, a genius psychologist
Posted from
United States -
this is so priceless
Posted from
Canada -
Oh and by ‘waste’ I meant ‘waist’.
Looking back on it, I could have phrased it with a bit more tact.
Posted from
United States -
And why the hell did he have to share this gem of good management with the world?
Does it mean that now other gaffers will imitate him? Like Alex Ferguson?Yuck.
Posted from
Poland -
I bet Sven´s already been in the showers.
Posted from
Spain -
Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time, “putting his hands on Frank’s waste”!
Are we to assume that Frank is so awesome that touching his waste is something worth doing? Perhaps this is a marketing option for the Chelsea fan who has everything?
Posted from
United States -
http://cdn.withleather.uproxx.com-s1.simplecdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/hey_coach.jpg
With Leather has a great photo of Josie:
This is the one I will remember him by.
It seems fitting.Posted from
Canada -
Quote of the year.
Posted from
United States
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