Getting Sacked By Chelsea Is Quite Profitable*

Every year the release of Serie A salaries is met with great anticipation and often little surprise. This year, there was plenty of surprise to go around. With Kaka & Zlatan off to the lowered tax rates of Spain, the top spot was up for grabs and it went to Jose Mourinho, whose main improvement over predecessor Roberto Mancini has been a slightly darker tan, at an entirely ridiculous €11m. This, one would presume, put him atop the managerial payroll (unless Sir Whiskey Nose has been picking up 5% bumps per annum). Jose only held that title for a matter of days, however.

Step on down, Big Phil. According to the stipulations of his contract, losing your players after roughly 6 months of games at Chelsea will earn you a paypacket worth €13m per year in Uzbekistan. That’s right: €13m.

The country shouldn’t surprise as this is Bunyodkor we’re talking about – the same club which had Samuel Eto’o seriously considering life Uzbek-style and successfully wooed Rivaldo with a deal which had him falling to the ground clutching his face (it’s an instinct thing). In short: they have money.

Of course it’s not all about the money:

“The financial aspect often attracts a player or coach to a distant country such as Uzbekistan. It is part of all this but, in my opinion, this should be considered one of the least important factors.”

There is a decided layer of bullshit underneath that statement, but all’s fair and well. No one’s going to slay Big Phil for taking nearly €20m – he’s on an 18month deal – for a period that would normally be spent on the couch recharging his batteries, waiting for the perfect suitor to call. In essence, this is a gleefully profitable temp job.

And this means two coaches sacked by Chelsea recently have gone on to command what we can only assume are the highest salaries in world football. So we can draw two conclusions:

i. Between these revelations and the transfer ban, Carlo Ancelotti will purposefully torpedo Chelsea over the next few months desperately hoping for his pink slip.
ii. Avram Grant is in line for a €15m deal somewhere.

* – Unless, of course, your name is some variation of Mutu, Adrian.

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Category: World Football