Happy Thanksgiving, Steve McClaren!

I realize this will come as a terrible, terrible shock to many of you, but Steve McClaren has been fired from the England job. (Gasp!) That’s what happens, it seems, when 80% of your team’s performances are ragged and dire, and you fail to qualify for Euro 2008 despite being handed an enormous, flashing lifeline by Israel.

The moment the whistle blew last night to end England’s devastating 3-2 home loss to Ukraine Croatia, it was only a matter of time before McClaren was out, despite post-match comments in which he insisted he was staying on. He leaves the job after 16 months, during which time he compiled the worst record in England management history (ouch), leaving FA chief executive Brian Barwick struggling for something nice to say during the post-mortem. In the end, he decided on “I think he’s tried very hard.” OUCH. Isn’t that what you say to the kid who tries to makes a pasta collage but ends up covered in paste, with macaroni glued to his hair?

So, whose next to be ravaged by the British press? Well, the bookies have installed Jose Mourinho as the early favorite, which is a rather distressing thought — we need to see and hear from him way more often than only during international weeks. Behind The Special One on the bookmakers’ list are Mark Hughes, former England coach Terry Venables (McClaren’s assistant, who has also been relieved of his position), Martin O’Neill, who was thought close to the job when McClaren got it in 2006, Alan Shearer (God, yes, please.), Fabio Capello, who has expressed interested in the gig, and a pair of men already busy with national teams: Big Phil Scolari and Guus Hiddink.

Come on, FA, give it to Shearer — screw his youth and lack of experience, you know you want him, and the country will love you for it (at least until he loses).

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Category: England, World Football