Has Anybody Told Schelotto’s Wife and Kids About This?

By: Laurie | June 13th, 2009

So what do Columbus Crew players talk about when they’re not talking about soccer?

My guess would be: not classic literature or opera.

Why do I think this? Take a look at these interview answers from Columbus guys Eric Brunner and Danny O’Rourke:

Who is the “Don Juan” of the team?

Brunner: (Guillermo Barros) Schelotto because he is willing to work with you and help you out. The guy has been playing for awhile and I have learned from him.

O’Rourke: For me I have to say Frankie (Hejduk). Just because of his work rate and he plays in my position. He has also been around for a while and knows the game. He helps me a lot out and I enjoy that. I have also learned a lot for Schelotto as well.

After thinking about this for a moment, I can kind of picture both Schelotto and Hejduk in the role of Don Juan. Okay, especially Hejduk. (Meaning I really wish I had the photoshop skills to paste his head on the above photo.) But I don’t think what the guys actually said was quite what they thought they were saying.

Or maybe it was. Let’s look at this again. First from Eric:

The guy has been playing for awhile and I have learned from him.

Next, from Danny:

He has also been around for a while and knows the game.

Kind of makes you go Hmmm, does it not? Perhaps MLS is catching up to the rest of the world at last.

For the record, boys, a quick trip to Wikipedia before answering could have cleared everything up:

Don Juan legend

Don Juan is a rogue and a libertine who takes great pleasure in seducing women and (in most versions) enjoys fighting their champions. Later, in a graveyard Don Juan encounters a statue of the dead father of a girl he has seduced, and, impiously, invites him to dine with him; the statue gladly accepts. The father’s ghost arrives for dinner at Don Juan’s house and in turn invites Don Juan to dine with him in the graveyard. Don Juan accepts, and goes to the father’s grave where the statue asks to shake Don Juan’s hand. When he extends his arm, the statue grabs hold and drags him away, to Hell.[

Or in other words, Frankie and Guillermo? If a statue invites you to dinner in a graveyard and you end up in hell?

It’s all Eric and Danny’s fault.

P.S. Crew fans, I believe we will have a new Crew blogger very, very soon!