Hiddink to Chelsea Players: Armani or Else!

New Chelsea manager Guus Hiddink has new rules for the Chelsea players: Wear your Armani suits, or face the consequences!

Hiddink feels that former gaffer Luis Felipe Scolari was far too lax with the Chelsea boys, so he’s imposed a new set of rules. My personal favorite? The club’s Armani suits must be worn on the way to both home and away games. And not only that, but the boys had better knot those ties correctly!

(I’m pretty sure that enforcing this rule will require Tie Police. Apply c/o Guus Hiddink. End of the line is wa-a-a-a-ay back there, behind all of those young, nubile, surgically enhanced women with the spike heels and fake tans.)

Guus’s new rules:

Club suits to be worn when:

Reporting for duty
Travelling to the stadium for both home and away games
When leaving the ground
Ties must always be worn witgh suits and be knotted correctly

Other rules:

Punctuality for training
Restrictions on the use of mobile phones
Increased fitness regime following laid back approach from Scolari
Change in diets
Fines for breaking any rules

Note the order in which these rules are listed. Because punctuality and fitness and good diets are great and all that, but we all know that it’s really about the Armani.

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Category: World Football