Human Foosball

I think it is safe to say that every one of us at one time or another has been in a bar late at night and has watched other people playing foosball or table football as some call it. We have probably all felt a certain degree of jealousy towards the little androgynous players with their perfectly coiffed hair and single powerful legs. We have all wished at one time or another that we could be that that little foosball guy spinning around of a pole without a care in the world. It is at that point that you realize you have had too much to drink and that you aren’t going to hook up so you might as well drink some more.

Human foosball probably won’t help you in the romance department, but it does enable you to live out all your foosball fantasies on a giant human football table. Based on the research I have done, and it has been less than extensive, you can either play the sport with your hands tied to the pole or with a waist harness that is tied to the pole. Either way it could be kinky so I take back that bit about it not helping you in the romance department.

Usually the game is played with five players on a side, but there doesn’t seem to be any regulations against fielding a team with more players if you want to recreate a game of good versus evil. In fact, there doesn’t seem to be an international organizing body for the sport so if you are the entrepreneurial type looking to be the president of a global organization here’s your chance.

The main thing the sport has going for it is that it requires little to no running and can probably be played while under the influence. The main knock against it is that it looks kind of lame and the possibility of getting smacked in the nether region seems very real. Just like the miniature version, spinning is apparently not allowed, which kind of sucks.

Here is a clip of human foosball in all her odd games glory. The dude in black appears to be taking it way too seriously.

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Category: World Football