Is it a Bad Sign When Your Manager Stops Watching Your Matches?

Because, based on Sam Allardyce’s statements after his team periodically thrilling 0-0 FA Cup draw with promotion-contenders Stoke City, that’s what it’s come to in Newcastle. According to Big Sam, “We controlled the game well and just couldn’t find the goal.” Hmm. Well, unless where he’s from “controlled” he means “ran in terror for the last half hour,” Big Sam clearly wasn’t watching. I mean, he was there, but perhaps he was napping, with eyeballs cleverly painted on his eyelids. Either that or he sent out a shockingly realistic mannequin for the second half, so he didn’t have to listen to the Stoke supporters sing about him getting sacked in the morning.

To be fair, Newcastle — whose first 11 were sent out to meet the Championship side — did create a lot of first-half chances and showed a lot of fight in the match which, to long-suffering Toon supporters, will have offered some reason for pride. The fact remains however, that Stoke dominated the last 30 minutes, and it was only a pair of miracle blocks by Steven Taylor (one of them on the goal line, with Newcastle keeper Shay Given nowhere in sight) and shockingly bad luck by the home side that kept Stoke from recording a deserved 2-0 win.

In good news for Newcastle, Lomana LuaLua’s little brother Kazenga is fast as hell, and Joey Barton is out of prison and is really, really sorry. Seriously, boss, it won’t happen again.

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Category: England, World Football