Jens Lehmann is 12

By: Martha | November 19th, 2007

Jens, Jens, Jens. You know when you’re in third grade, and you’ve moved to swearing and flicking people off rather that just yelling “I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?” when they piss you off? And how you think you’re so clever when you subtly give people the finger by scratching your head with your middle finger, right in the middle of math class? Well, Jens Lehmann did that this weekend, except his math class was actually a football pitch, in front of thousands of supporters and hundreds of photographers. He’s probably going to the principal’s office.

It’s not been the best of times for the German keeper: He’s no longer first choice at Arsenal and, while still coach Joachim Löw’s keeper of choice for Germany, probably won’t remain so if he doesn’t start getting some playing time for his club. So, depending on which minute of which press conference you believe, Lehmann could leave and leave Arsenal for a German club this winter in order to keep his place for Euro 2008 (or he won’t — he’s a bit schizophrenic these days).

Whatever he does, though, there will always be a certain sector of Germany supporters in Hanover who think Robert Enke (who happens to play his club football in Hanover) should be first choice, and they weren’t shy about letting Lehman know, even when he was in the midst of throwing a shutout in Germany’s 4-0 defeat of Cyprus this weekend. It was during their pro-Enke chanting that Lehmann developed an itch — one he chose to scratch with a single finger, an action he insists was entirely innocent. Jens, come on man, we’ve all done it. And no one is going to believe that it was actually natural for you to pry your giant, gloved fingers apart in order to use just one to scratch your head.

Cristiano Ronaldo was fined and suspended for a similar offense last year, though his move was slightly less subtle — we’ll see if UEFA make the old man pay a couple thousand Euros for acting like an eight-year-old, or if they figure the copious photographic evidence is punishment enough. (Since they can’t be bothered to do anything about the racist chants Lazio supporters have been throwing around in Europe, it would somehow be appropriate for UEFA to get all fired up about something like this.)