Joe Cole, John Terry and Frank Lampard have their Man Parts Cursed

In the run up to England’s Euro 2008 match in Russia on Wednesday there was a lot of talk about the danger England’s players faced playing on an artificial surface in Moscow. The fear was that their high priced players would crumple in pain after merely stepping on the fake stuff. What was overlooked, however, was another threat to their well being. The threat of a voodoo curse on their wee-wees.

From the Moscow Times:

Meanwhile, Russian fans resorted to bizarre measures for success, hiring a voodoo priestess to curse three English players, the Tvoi Den newspaper reported Tuesday. Instead of using a voodoo doll, however, the fans used matryoshka dolls embossed with the pictures of Joe Cole, John Terry and Frank Lampard, the newspaper said.

“They will have a problem with speech,” the Haitian priestess said after cursing the players, Tvoi Den reported. “Apart from that the lads could unexpectedly have problems with their legs — apologies for the details — between their legs. Nothing serious. Simply some small discomfort, lethargy, ache and if all goes according to my plan, an itch.”

With all due respect to the Haitian priestess, these players probably already suffer from such pain. Well, at least Lampard probably does after his dalliance in Vegas this past summer.

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Category: World Football